A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Eastern European Girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years. We used to live together but because my job means I am now away for a lot of time time she has moved in to a flat with 3 of her freinds - two girls and a guy. She has addmitted that 10 years she slept with the guy, but insists nothing like it has happened since.The reguarly all get drunk together, and if they have other freinds staying or have gone away, have been known to share the same bed.I am incredibly uncomfortable with it. Now the four of them are going away together for a weekend, whilst I am away, to celebrate their birthdays. I hate it, and am very worried about it, but anytime the subject comes up we end up arguing.Am I right to be upset by this situation? Should I just accept it or am I entitled to try and stop her from continuing with this?Please help
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male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (20 November 2010):
i 100% agree with baddogbj
espeically that alcohol is mentioned
your discomfort is absolutely acceptable
imagine your self living with three girls in one flat
wouldn't you atleast have a fantasy about sleeping with them
even if you didnt want to do it in real life ?
A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 It's not a good situation.
Once a man has had sex with a women his way of thinking about her has been changed for ever. It's a line which once crossed cannot be uncrossed. Women sometimes don't get this but they don't understand how we think.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 She is an adult and you are not entitled to try stopping her from doing anything.
The problem is another : do you trust her or not ?
Are there been any occurrences in the last 3 years in which you have found her unreliable, devious or insincere ?
If not, why do you feel you cannot trust her ?
And if basically you don't trust her, why are you still with her ?
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A
male
reader, JoshB667  +, writes (20 November 2010):
A good relationship is built on trust and you should be able to trust her... But saying that, I would probably feel the same way as you, regardless.
You've been together 3 years ? why aren't you living together now (I moved in with my g/f after 6 months) ? Why does your job travels mean that she can't live with you ? if you are serious why is that a factor ? (I suppose it depends on what kind of girl she is) i.e. how old ?, can she not manage being on her own ?
Anyway, you should ask her to move in with you. Take a holiday if you have to.
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