| A
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My girlfriend is obsessed with me! We're both 18 and both in out first proper relationship. We've been going out for nearly 3 months now and she's turned into such a bunny boiler it's actually scaring me. Seriously, we're apart for 5 minutes and she bombards me with texts. One time I was at work and she text me but I was too busy to text back so she travelled all the way down to my workplace to see me. She expects me to spend every single second of free time I have with her and if I am busy or want to do other things she gets upset. If I even lay eyes on another woman she shouts at me.The biggest problem is she is becoming alienated from her friends because of this. She used to go out clubbing all the time with them but now will only do it if I come out as well, but a lot of the time I can't. And of course her friends think its my fault she doesn't wanna see them anymore even though I am always encouraging her to do so. I even heard her talking to someone about out future together, saying we're gonna get married and have kids and she's pretty much mapped out our lives together.I really do like her loads but she's jumping in so fast I can't keep up, its been 3 months! What can I do to calm her down?
View related questions:
at work, clubbing, text, workplace Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): This is way to psycho for my tastes. Things like this rarely get better with time, they usually get worse. Planning your future together after 3 months is a bad sign.
Good luck with this one, you're going to need it!
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Oh, make sure CLINGY doesn't become DOMINEERING.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (29 April 2010):
I agree with Isa123. CLINGY.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): She may be really hard to talk to or get through to. If you tell her that you need space or the like she may jump down your throat even more or accuse you of being unfaithful or something crazy.
Well if you ever want anything to change you have to put your foot down. The more you let her get away with this behavior the more she is going to think its ok and continue doing it, worse everytime. When you don't answer her texts because you are busy, and she blows up your phone, pick up right then and there and say STERNLY "I am not blowing you off but I am in the middle of work, and you are being extremely rude by blowing up my phone. I would appreciate if you would stop and let me get back to my job. I will call you when I am done." Just like that, and if she gets mad at you let her sulk because I guarantee she will come around in a few days.
And everytime she disrespects you answer her and call her out on it sternly. If you do not want to go out one night because you have work the next day or simply because you don't want to, be stern and tell her no. And make sure you explain to her why and be sure to call her out if you think she is being rude to your needs and self. The first few times you do it she will sulk. But after a while she will get the message and probably lay off a little.
...............................
A
female
reader, Isa123  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Ouch. The clingy type.
My mother's close friend is like this. She expects a close contact, gets upset if no calls or texts are returned, and forget her friends.
Approach with caution. Women like this are hard to talk to. But in order to calm this woman down is, let her know what you plan to do in the day in the morning. Tell her it's work, blah blah. And if you will be five minutes late, TELL HER. This should surely calm down her need to constantly check up on you.
As for the friends, try befriending them yourself. Let them know your concerns and ask them to pull her back into her group of friends.
Or you can always talk to her about it. Risky move, but talking always works. But changing the clingy type is quite difficult.
Good luck to you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2010): id be telling her that u need some time and space. You have no relaxation time at all. She deff needs to back off. Tell her if she doesnt back off u may need to have a ''break'' in the relationship. Tell her that she needs to start hanging out with her friends more because that also give you time to hang with your mates....
Good luck dude
...............................
|
