A
female
age
30-35,
*ylassie10
writes:I am going through a pain like i have never felt before. I'd rather experience physical pain then the feeling i have right now. I had been seeing someone for 3 months. We had a lot of fights and mostly because of me because I would question him on a lot of things due to the fact that people kept saying to stay away because he had a bad reputation. Well he treated me so well and I took him for granted. I always questioned his feelings but everytime we fought, he would fight for me to stay and I always did. Well we recently got into another fight and things were said by me that i shouldnt have said and i have been trying so hard to get in touch with him and ive texted him and told him how I feel and that I love him and he wont answer me. He just told me 4 days ago that he loved me and i cant understand why he would do this to me. I understand he could be pissed but at least give me the respect to answer. I'm praying to God he will answer me but I feel like he wont and it kills me. I dont know what to do to get over this and I need help.
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (3 May 2010):
 He is very suspicious and does not trust you . It is very difficult when there is no trust in a relationship.Probably don't love you as much as before.
If there is love, such things would not have cropped up. You need to walk away for your own self respect and self worth and let him chase after you .
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (3 May 2010):
 I think he is slightly temperamental. You weren't expecting him at that time, so there is no reason why you should have to stay home, while he's out wherever. You did not lie. A lie must include an intent to deceive, which it doesn't sound like you had done. You need to decide what you want, and how long you will hang around playing these games.
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A
female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (2 May 2010):
mylassie10 is verified as being by the original poster of the question So things were okay for a few days and now they have gone wrong again and this time its not my fault. I asked to hang out with him on Friday and he said he had a fam dinner and wasnt sure what time he was getting home so he said saturday we could hang out. I told him that I was going to stay in and do hw. Well the night went on and he never texted or called to let me know that he was still out or if he got home and i texted him at 11:45 pm. He answered at 1:30am and just said hello what r u up to. I told him I was at the bar and he got mad at me and called me a liar. I did not lie. I wasnt planning on going out and my friend asked me to go to a bar at 11:30 so i went. I never found out what he did that night or if he went out which he probably did since I never heard from him and thats messed up cuz he knew I wanted to hang out with him after he got done with dinner. I texted him twice and called and left a message yesterday and he never wrote back or answered. All I wanted to do was talk about this and it would be fine. This is stupid of him to get mad at me for "lying" when I didnt. Does anyone think he'll ever text or call me again?? Or do you think this was the last straw and wont even bother to hear what I have to say.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 April 2010):
Good luck with your conversation tomorrow.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (29 April 2010):
Thanks for your update. It is good to see that he has responded well and you are on good terms again. Learn from your mistakes and avoid speaking in any negative manner.
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A
female
reader, mylassie10 +, writes (29 April 2010):
mylassie10 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys. Thank u so much for the advice. I ended up calling him tonight and stopped the stupid texting. He answered and I told him exactly how I felt and he told me that he loved me and cared for me a lot but just felt like it wasn't working right now but thought later on it could. I told him why i feel I was acting the way I was and how much I care about him and I ended up crying and I think I got through to him. We are supposed to talk tomorrow. I dont know how it will turn out, whether he'll give me another chance now or in the future but I'll keep you guys posted.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (29 April 2010):
The tongues is like a double edged sward. I agree with the other poster, sounds like a lot of drama. You need to slow down, sort out what's going on, what happened, and especially your emotions. When I read questions, I attempt to read into the emotions of the person who wrote it. I feel a lot of anxiety, feelings of being lost and confused, as if he's walking out a door, and you dive to hold on to his pant leg, trying to pick the right straw that has the answer that would make him change his mind and stop.
Although he hasn't contacted you. I want you to take some time to look at the situation as a whole. You want to talk, if it were me, I wouldn't want to talk to someone who's acting frantic and out of control. Also, all contact needs to be focused on addressing what you did, not what he's doing now. It's okay to tell him, you're inappropriate behavior while you were together was because you are afraid. When you get to talk to him, let him know how you feel about him, then "but I was afraid, because" In working on issues, be honest with yourself as to why and to the person you're working on things with. Don't bombard him with texts trying to establish contact. The more you send, the more you'll push him away.
The best thing to do now is to breath, reflect on what had happened, and see what you can do in a calm, rational, adult manner, if given the chance to repair what had been done.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (29 April 2010):
All you can do is to apologize to him and get him out ,to talk to him.
If he does not want to communicate with you or ignores you ,there is nothing more you can do until he opens up again.
Give him sometime to come to his senses or be rational again. You could have hurt him deeply and he needs more time to heal.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (29 April 2010):
 Know what you are fighting about. Is this relationship workable or are you going to a dead end street? There can only be two outcomes. He still wants to be with you. He decides to end it because the drama isn't worth it. If it's the first, take him seriously and cherish him for what he is. If it's the second, be happy that you don't have to give yourself headaches again by questioning him and doubting him. Pray God to give you strength. Whether he will answer you is up to him.
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