A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a big problem. My best friend is getting married and I'm the best man. I have to dance with the bridesmaid and my girlfriend is pretty mad with me for that. I told her that its just a dance nothing more than that .. but still she's so jealous about it :( I know its normal to feel jealous, but she's fighting with me all the time. I don't know what to do :( Please help me.. What should I do :(
View related questions:
best friend, jealous, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2010): Are you telling us the whole story? Have you committed actions in the past that would betray your girlfriend's trust? Have you given her valid reasons to be jealous? If not, let her know you will not be dancing cheek to cheek, (body part to body part), with the bridesmaid. Close intimate dancing with the bridesmaid is not appropriate. But a traditional first dance shouldn't have to cause so much stress for your girlfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Please don't flame me, but I think I sort of, kind of understand where your girlfriend is coming from...I'm not saying she's right, but I've been in her shoes before when something similar happened. I say maybe you let her meet the bridesmaid? Maybe it'll calm her down. Don't take any bs from her though. It is a traditional event and she has NO right to meddle. If she starts making threats or going crazy, let her do it. If she threatens to leave, she's not worth it. Best of luck. Don't back out of the wedding! She'll eat herself from jealousy, but that is HER problem.
...............................
A
male
reader, dandan12  +, writes (15 October 2010):
This book is an essential guide for relations, sexual tips and positions, ideal for every person who want to improve his quality of sexual and sentimental life! You can download from here ; www.iriselul.ro/eu
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Your girlfriend has no right to be angry with you over this situation, and I wonder..is she normally this angry and insecure about other aspects of this relationship, aside from you dancing with a bridesmaid at this wedding? Because as it sits rights now, she most certainly feels threatened by this bridesmaid situation and that quite plainly, comes from somewhere inside of her. Sad to say but she is not unusual as many, many people experience deep fears, insecurity and jealousies, in love relationships. And..it's a very unhealthy dynamic. So you need to find out why she does this. Obviously, this basically stems from her lack of self worth, of not feeling good enough. A poor self image.There could be many reasons why she feels jealous, insecure. Possibly, one reason could stem from hurtful experiences in her past love relationships (including family relationships). Has she ever talked to you about those feelings? Maybe you both can sit and calmly discuss this issue. You may find things out, together, that will help her through this. However, you need to remember, that relationships are a selection process in choosing who's best for our life. They require so much time, patience and healthy building on the part of 'both' people. If you think this relationship is worth it, you could suggest she talk to a counselor..to get tips on self-esteem building and getting help for these unhealthy feelings of jealousy. Or you could decide, that her jealousies could lead into controlling behaviors in your future with her and decide this relationship isn't for you. A tough choice I know..but do what's best for you. Good luck to you both. xxAlso, take a look here:http://www.squidoo.com/what-causes-jealousy
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): First of all thanks a lot for your answers. I didn't mention in my original post, I started this affair 8 years ago. And I really don't like to get out of this relationship because of a problem like this coz I'm madly in love with her :( . She's going through a lot of problems too. Her mom is not treating her properly and even her dad is not that close to her. So when ever she's having problems, I was always there for her. But this time, she doesn't have anyone to tell .. and obviously she doesn't like to listen to me because she's mad over me. I really have no idea what I can do here :( She's going through a pretty rough time too :(
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2010): Every action deserve a reaction. Most people become jealous when their partner exhibit behavior as such, overly excited about dancing with this brides maid. We tend to make our partner jealous. Sometimes its sweet but it does a lot of damage to trust. Traditions is one thing, but having my girl in pain because I want to grind on a woman is another. It wouldn't be worth it to me, I would sit this one out. Its your choice so choose wisely.
...............................
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (15 October 2010):
 She's the green eyed jealousy monster over a wedding tradition, what else has she gotten jealous of? This display of jealousy is NOT normal. You've already explained to her over and over that this is a tradition, there is nothing you can do about it, and you are not going to ruin your friend's wedding just because she is throwing a piss fit. That's all you can do, she can sit and pout at the table or she can stay at home and pout. Frankly, I would be afraid she would cause a scene at the wedding when you go to dance with the bridesmaid.
I do agree with Caring Guy and Dirtball, it's possible you may want to take a second look at her past tantrums and jealousy getting the best of her.
...............................
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (15 October 2010):
 It a dance for a wedding are you really considering not doing it. If she throws a fit let her, don't cave in because at this point you are sending out a message that as long as she throws a tantrum you will change your plans bend over backward to make her happy and give in to her control. Be a man take a stand and her anger will eventually vanish, but if you give in now, she will now know she has all this power over you and you will only do what she says and wants you to do.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (15 October 2010):
 Your girlfriend needs to realize that there are things in life outside of both of your control and get over herself. She is on the "psycho" level of jealousy and it is not normal for her to be so jealous over something like this. Usually behavior like this is an indication of problems to come. You might want to get out of this relationship before things get worse.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (15 October 2010):
God, talk about throwing the toys out the pram. This is so out of order it's unbelievable. As the best man, it's a tradition at the wedding for you to dance with the head Bridesmaid, and that's it. I'd be really concerned about your relationship if your girlfriend is this jealous over something that your friend needs you to do at the wedding, and that is tradition, and that really means nothing. It's one dance. Explain yet again that it's a wedding, it's a dance and that it's tradition. And if she continues to act this way, do it anyway. This is childish, and she'll just have to like it or scream about it. But, like I said, look at the relationship as a whole. If she's getting mad over a dance at a wedding, then you're in for a lifetime of jealousy and nagging.
...............................
|
