A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My Girlfriend is going to the abortion clinic without me she is making all these decision without concerning me what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Dude, you don't even have credit for your phone so you can call her and talk to her.
It is glaringly apparant that you have no way of supporting this child or her financially.
I don't agree with the anonymous poster that a guy who was a father of an unborn has the right to tell a woman not to abort.
First off, being a sperm donor does not a father make. And secondly women are the only one of our species that are a slave to their own biology, luckily men do not have the burden of giving life, but they sure as hell want the pleasure of having sex with us.
She has every right under the laws of God and man to make this personal decision for herself because it is her body.
She is not Murdering a child, she is getting rid of some fertilized cells in her uterus that if allowed to develop will become a child. You know the birth control pill does pretty much the same thing, as well as the morning after pill and no one calls that murder. It is a lesson in the biology of reproduction that the anon poster needs to study up on.
Naturally, having to go through the emotional trauma of an abortion and failing to deal with reproductive issues before a pregnancy is not the thing to do ideally, abortion is not to be taken lightly or to serve as a form a birth control. I hope that both of you will learn to plan for pregnancies in the future. She also is under no obligation to bring a child into the world so someone might adopt it, have you checked how many grown children are in foster care awaiting adoption? Do we really need to go there just because most couples want an infant?
Give me an f'n break!
I am sorry that you have to go through with this, but let this be a lesson learned.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all your response may u get what u truly desire in ur life...i have accepted i have 2 be there for her all i need now is credit on my phone to call her n demand she let me come with her...im just scared that we may never have an opportunity to have another child bcoz her first one is not my blood related but i still take him has my son n i still support...but i wont be able to take it in mentally if we cant have anymore
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A
female
reader, MansonGroupie +, writes (28 October 2009):
 A lot of men are going to hate me for this but here goes, this is her decision and all you can do is support her.
Men, you may think that this is a decision that women take lightly, it very rarely is! Not only does she have to carry the baby for nine months, give birth (which carries a risk of complications), give up her life for at least the next eighteen years, ruin her figure, possibly blow all chances of a career and risk you walking out on her then dragging the whole thing through court, but she has to face the emotions and financial strains that follow.
Anonymous, I had an abortion when I was younger, does that make me a murderer too??? It's a personal decision and sometimes it's the best option for that particular individual.
If she isn't ready for another baby, you have to accept that.
You two need to talk though. This can't be an easy situation for you in any way. Insist that, even if she would rather do this alone, you would like to help and be there every step of the way.
Other than that, I don't know what to say, this is a difficult situation and I wish you all the best. I do feel for you.
Good Luck.xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionim the person who wrote this question...itz not like i can not afford to look aftr her and the baby...the situation is she said because she wants to go uni and she already has a kid and she is not ready for another...the other problem is we hardly communicate since i have no credit to call her n she has none to call me and since she found out she was pregnant she hardly has anytime for me...so how can i support her and be there for her? thanks for the advice
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Women can be very selfish about this sort of thing. There are many cases of a father challenging the legality of a mother aborting a child that is equally as much the father's as it is hers.It might be her body, but the child her body is carrying is not hers alone. If a father wants the child to be born then it should be. The child can then be given to him, if the mother is too immature to understand she is not playing dolls here.There are so many better alternatives to murder. Adoption chief amongst them. So many couples that cannot have children end up missing out because of the the selfish and hormonal impulse of young mothers and fathers.To the point, the father's opinion and thoughts SHOULD be taken into account. But they rarely ever are. Even by the law. It's set up to pretty much only support a mother in this situation as if the father is not even part of it.Flynn 24
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): Tell her that your sorry that she's having to go through htis, offer to pay for it, and be there ever step of the way. This is 100% her choice, and you have no vote, but you do need to emotionally support her.Next time take enough precautions where she doesn't get pregant.
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A
female
reader, ffogalilly  +, writes (28 October 2009):
You go with her, and be there for her. I had an abortion, and did not have anyone to support me, someone came with me but I went though it alone. You may not like my opinion, but I think right now the decision is up to her.
Abortion is a tough choice to make, she is going to need you to stand by her though this, believe me, nothing goes back to normal once you have this done. Your body has to come down from the hormones, and you're mostly an emotional wreck for a few weeks. I didn't talk to the guy who got me pregnant, seeing as he did not care, I just made my decision and did it. Don't judge her, stand by her side.
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A
female
reader, SugarBear +, writes (28 October 2009):
 Well are you going to marry her and take care of her and the baby. Do you have the time and money for a baby? Maybe she does not want you to have the burden, its her body, its her life. Maybe she wants to go to college and has other goals and dreams. You can have children when you are older, married, have a house and you have some money. Unless you tell her something that changes her mind she can do what she wants. maybe her parents want her to or maybe she just doesnt want them to find out. Why would you have unprotected sex anyway... If you can not afford to raise a baby do not have sex without protection thats sex 101. What were you expecting? Do your parents know about it... If they do, they can talk to her parents.. Anyway you need to support her and her decision this will be in the back of her mind forever. You need to pay for it to. Be there for her, let her feel sad,happy or glad about it. She will need time to heal.
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