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age
36-40,
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writes: My ex was stringing me alone, giving me false hope that we were gonna get back together so he could keep me as either an option contract, a booty call, or so that he could keep having so much power over someone to make himself feel good, or maybe all of those reasons. He was possessive. He did not want to get back together with me officially but then he didnt want me finding somebody new. So he gave me false hope and played mind games with me for months to keep me around. I HATED him having all the power over me. It made me feel like a toy. He used me for hooking up and sex. My selfesteem is now completely destroyed as I dont feel good enough because he didnt take me back and probably thinks he can do better than me. I dont know how i'm gonna get over it, but I've decided to forget about him completely as I've come to the conclusion that he's a jerk and I should find somebody who truly respects me and loves me. Anyway, my question is, when he texts me again or calls me, what would hurt him more? Ignoring him completely, or answering with a nasty text message saying "leave me alone you stupid fu**". I was thinking ignoring him completely will hurt him more because he will think i wont even bother to respond. Do you guys agree with me?
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booty call, get back together, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2009): Woah. I'm going through the exact same thing. I think the best thing you could do is to show him you don't need him. He's spent so long knowing he has power over you, simply telling him you don't want to see him anymore because you don't feel that way for him anymore would do the trick. You need to try and keep it from getting nasty because that would only end up hurting you more. Just keep it simple and keep your dignity and leave him all alone wondering how he lost you.
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male
reader, Translucent  +, writes (28 October 2009):
Sending hurtful txts?, you are not 13 anymore you need to show him that but more importantly you need to show yourself that. Replying with hurtfull messages will only serve as an indication to him that his existence in your life is greater than all. It appears you realise just what type of character he is, so just move on. I know a few guys like him and they always act the same (attention seeking, will accept any form of attention even negative). Just ignore him dont even make any contact he will even try to grovel just move on you will thank yourself later.
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male
reader, nickaust1971  +, writes (28 October 2009):
I agree with all the advice given to you..Theres nothing you can do just find someone and be happy that will piss him off more.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): First of all I think you need to realize you are still letting him have control over you by even giving thought to whether or not you're going to hurt him by texting him back or not. Forget him and let it go don't give one more thought about him. Delete his phone number block calls whatever you have to do to not allow him to be a factor in your life anymore, he hurt you and there is no reason to beat a dead horse. It takes more enery to be spiteful to someone than to forget about him and find someone to treat you well. Don't text him back, don't let him dictate your life anymore. It's hard to do this believe me I know but move on find someone you don't have to play games with, get out and do something you enjoy. By occupying yourself, you're giving yourself the opportunity to not think about him anymore. And before you know it you won't even think about him anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 October 2009): I understand that you are really pissed off and angry right now, but honestly you need to take responsibility for your part in this.
Your ex could not have used you for sex or strung you along unless you allowed it. Sure he played mind games with you, but you should know that if he was sleeping with you without a true commitment, then he is just having his own way with you while keeping his options open.
You have to take responsibility for the fact that you falsely believed that by keeping your sexual relationship going that you could make him fall in love with you again and get him back for real.
I can understand that you took that risk for love, but he didn't do this to you without your consent.
You are being a jerk too if all you want to do is to get back at him for hurting you.
The best thing in this situation is to not let it happen again, you gave it a second chance, and it didn't work that ought to be enough reason for you to stop all contact with him for good.
The way you do that is change your freakin' phone number and instruct any of your same friends not to give it out. You block his email or change yours, you stop contacting him through social websites or block him from being able to see yours and you stop following his and keeping tabs on him. You get rid of any reminders of him at home, such as gifts, photos, etc. destroy them or pack them up in a box an place them high on a shelf where they can't be emotional triggers for you without you even realizing it.
Start focusing on you instead of him and use your anger as a motivator to move forward with your life. If you use your anger against him then you are still tied to him in this dance or resnetment and anger and he has power over you, which is what you say you do not want.
No one likes rejection and it hurts. By starting no contact and keeping with it forever you have turned that rejection around onto him and who in the world really cares if it hurts him or not. This relationship is dead and you don't want to keep beating and kicking a dead horse. It isn't nice for anyone including the memory of the good horse your relationship was at one time....it served a purpose in your life, but things change and you need to close this door to have new things happen in your life going forward.
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