A
male
age
30-35,
*heLieInKing
writes:Well since the beginning we were cool, at least I thought so. Then in the next month which is Christmas, I am currently in Canada for the year and i went back home to NY for the holidays and to be with her. She seemed fine and she had previously told me about any guy she liked or whatever and I thought nothing of it, I was flying high in happiness of my new relationship. But then after christmas, in January, I found out she had been flirting with other guys (the ones she mentioned), making out with them and just passing out offers she shouldn't have been, mainly being a tease. It hurt like hell the first time, because I am a generally introverted person with not too much self-esteem and confidence in the first place, but she assured me that she loved me, so I had that to be happy about. after I confronted her, she said she was sorry and there was no reason for it and she would never do it again...surprise, surprise, she did it again in late February, this one hurt worse, and it was with the same guy. She once again said the same thing, and at this point, I was just afraid of losing her, my last relationship had been a reflection of this one and I just wanted happiness for once and I really love her dearly. So I couldn't find it in my heart to trust her but love her all the same I did. She again told me it wouldn't happen again. Now, it's happened because the guy wouldn't give her a ride home, but what hurt me most is that she said "he was mad, he's scary when he's mad" which is supposedly her friend...and she at the end of the ride offered him another kiss and feel..she was rejected harshly and was ejected from the car. Then I found out about this one via text message from her best friend. At this point i'm highly depressed, and it's eating me alive to know what I really did to deserve this. And even now, I just found out that earlier in her other cheating, she told another guy she loved him. That killed me. I would have been ok, if all I could even have had was the fantasy of her love, but she took that too..I left her a message on facebook saying I couldn't be with her any longer till she changed her ways, but i'm really attached to her and love her although the hurt she inflicted to me...and she still wants a relationship, but through this, I have a bit of hate for what she's done, general anger for it and mostly hurt. I really don't know what to do, I just want to be happy, and I was imagining a life with her, by her side for the long run. but I feel stuck between outright attachment and love and hate and genuine irritation for how she could lie so many times. I mean, if she wasn't happy, she would just leave right? I can't see someone just using someone for this unknown purpose being right. Help.
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best friend, christmas, confidence, depressed, facebook, flirt, text, want to be happy Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (14 April 2010):
You're the security blanket, that's all. In the same way that some men use women, you're now being used yourself. It's not worth staying with her at all.
A
male
reader, Dekten  +, writes (14 April 2010):
What's your reason for staying with her? That you are angry about her being with someone else? You're letting jealousy speak here, not your own interests.
You know what YOUR own interests are? That you're in a relationship with someone who loves you and is LOYAL to you. YOU are the one who should be "happily ever after".
Dump her and ignore her. The pain and anger will wear off over time and she'll be out of your head.
And trust me: she'll pull this crap with every guy she'll be with.
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A
male
reader, TheLieInKing +, writes (14 April 2010):
TheLieInKing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just don't know how I could take seeing her in another relationship just to know she isn't doing what she did to me, and they're happily ever after while I had to be the road map test for the good things to happen, just doesn't seem fair..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2010): Hey,
I know what you mean and many of us have been there. Honestly, the best thing to do for your well-being is to permanently end the relationship. If she "loved" you, she would not go around having sex with other people since that is betrayal; on the other hand, you would not do what she did, which is a true quality of love. You would not make her mentally suffer as she is doing to you by sleeping with men that aren't even worth a speck of dust compared to your geniune and noble character. The bottom line, she's constantly lying to and is rendered untrustworthy; if you don't have trust and respect in a relationship, it is going to crumble. There are plenty of BETTER and WORTHY fish in the sea for you my friend! Don't waste your time with this fish.
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