A
male
age
30-35,
*ickd22
writes:I'm sorry if this is long, there's just a lot to explain. Please take the time to read. So my girlfriend and I are 19 yrs old and we have been together for over 2 years now. A little over three years ago she developed an eating disorder. The first year she was hospitalized and stayed at an inpatient recovery center. She was doing good the months afterwards but the last year has been extremely hard for her. As of now her weight has been dropping dramatically and she's barely eating. I love this girl with all my heart, I can honestly see us getting married in the future. The last thing I want is to lose her but as of late I feel like I already have. When we go out our options of things to do are very limited. She has a lot of anxiety if we're surrounded by a crowd and she's very weak so she gets tired fast. Going out to eat is out of the question. At the rate she's going you can literally see the life just draining from her body. It kills me to be so helpless and to watch her do this to herself. I literally have done everything in my power to try to get through to her. I am always there for her and I try my best to be an escape for her, but nothing works. Sometimes, and I hate myself for even feeling this way, I just get so angry and upset that I want to be done with it all. I want to live a normal life again, this constant helpless feeling is just tearing me apart. It's so unfair for me to think that way though because I know she desperately wants the same for herself, and I know what it would do to her emotional state if we were to break up. (I would never, by the way) This disease just has such a strong hold on her and I hate it, I want her to be so so happy. Her parents are aware of her condition but I'm hesitant to talk to them. Her mom is a very emotional person and her dad is in extreme denial, the very fact that they haven't done anything yet makes me even more hesitant. I'm just feeling a little scared to confront them. She has a doctor/therapist and why he is not taking action either I do not know. I guess my question is, what do I do?? Has anyone been in this type of situation before? I am so frustrated and broken hearted, I'm desperate for some type of solution. I feel like it's all on my shoulders, like her life is literally in my hands. Please, please, please help anyway you can. Thanks in advance. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bunnyblueeyes  +, writes (2 August 2011):
 I was bulimic from the age of sixteen. When my parents noticed I begin not eating at all. Its so, so hard to change. My boyfriend has helped me through the last five years and been extremely supportive. I think you should talk to her. Sit her down and explain how you feel about her, explain that nothing will change how you feel but that she is killing you because you can't bear to watch her fade away. When I realised how much I was hurting my boyfriend my outlook changed. I'm not saying I'm free of it, but I wasn't eating for just me. I was eating because I wanted to be healthy for him and my family. I'm sure that she will try, with your helping hand, to change her life. Hang in there.
A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (2 August 2011):
 http://hubpages.com/hub/Understanding-anorexia-nervosa-and-what-you-can-do-to-help
I think you should read that article. Its very useful in understanding the sources of eating disorders and how to deal with them.
In my opinion, I think its great to help your gf and I admire you for sticking by her and being supportive BUT...this girl needs a lot of work on her. She will need her parents to be involved and also some professionals. Eating disorders are very difficult to tackle. Alone - you may not achieve much in the way of recovery. I wish you all the luck and I hope she can find it in herself to fight this. xx
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