A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend broke up with me about a month and a half ago and for the first three weeks we didn't talk or get together because she said she wanted space to see if we were meant to be and find out what she wanted. After the three weeks she started to call me when she was drunk asking me to come out and sleep with her but I didn't go because I wasn't sure if it would be a smart idea since I was suppose to be giving her space. She then told one of our friends that she thinks she misses me, and then she asked me out to dinner. We went out to dinner together, and i drop her off at her dorm, and our friend asked her if she found anything out. She told him that she really loved me. That weekend she came home and asked me to hang out a few times, so I thought things were getting better between us, and when she went back to school I started talking to her more, and i asked her out to dinner but had other plans already with one of her girlfriends. After 3 days of talking to her alittle more I asked one of my friends to see how she is doing and if anything has improved between us. She told him that I was being overbearing again and that I wasn't being the person she loved. So I stopped talking to her to give her space again, and two days later she called me when she was drunk again to come sleep with her i didn't go again because i don't want to push her away anymore. That week end me her and a few of my other friends drove up to my friends school and me and her talked a little, and when we went to go to bed I was laying in a bed, and she came up to me and told me I was sleeping where she was suppose to be. I told her i would get up and move for her but she told me no to lay there and sleep with her. For the next few days i didn't call her or text her so she could still have her space. Then she called me, and told me that what we have been doing hasn't been working that she doesn't want to lead me on or anything, and by calling me when she was drunk she was doing that. She told me that she loved me and that we need real space like no talk or hanging out just us two but if all of our friends hang out we can hang out. That was about two weeks ago and we haven't spoken on the computer or phone but our friends got together and we hung out because she was on spring break. One of the nights i drove her home and that night she kept telling me to come sit with her and talk to her and then when i drop her off at her house she seemed like she was waiting for me to kiss her goodnight because she sat with the door open for about five minutes and looked at me and just kept saying good night. But i only kissed her on the lips because I didn't want to mess anything up. But then the next day we still haven't talked online or the phone or anything. I know she is confused but it seems like she wants to be with me when she drink or we are hanging out with all of our friends but then other times it seems like she doesn't. I am writing here to ask what I should do about the situation and if you think there is any hope that we will get back together because she always said we were soulmates and meant to be, and i really think we are meant to be and she is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. What should I do to help things?
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female
reader, jkobeska +, writes (20 March 2008):
Honestly this girl sounds like she doesn't have a clue what she wants or needs. This is not good for you, trust me i've been that girl and i miss treated 3 differnt guys that truly loved me. What she needs is to grow up. If i was you i would start dating other girls. Nothing serious though as i don't think your ready for that. As i'm sure this will get back to her, if she has any feelings of still wanting to be with you she will come running. Although I would say you would be better off finding someone new it seems you still love her too much for that yet. The best of luck to you man!
xoxo
A
female
reader, Skeez  +, writes (19 March 2008):
 This sounds like a very confusing relationship. She sounds quite immature and cannot get to her feelings or identify what she wants. You say shes ok hanging out with you if there are other people....thats not good if she never wants to be with you on your own. Just leave her be. If she calls you, ignore it. Or just tell her 'dont contact me becuase I want you to have your space'. If she still talks to you you obviously mean somehting to her, but maybe its not a boyfriend, rather as a friend. I recently broke up with my boyfriend coz he didnt love me as a girlfriend anymore, so she might be thinking the same. Just talk to her. sit her down and tell her your tired of all the waiting and your tired of hanging by a thread wondering if you mean somethin to her or not. She has to think of you, not herself all the time.goodluck
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