A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ever since september 2007, my girlfreind and i have been together. She turned 16 last week and my B-day is in august. We've been happy and hav'nt had any big problems with each other, but what we didnt know up until feburary that year is that her dad and my mum have been seeing each other since that november. well, we somewhat suspected something was up when we had our christmas and new years' parties, but we were somewhat distracted by being with each other. They kept their relationship relatively secret from us, until this last feburary, when the became engaged! My girlfreind and I kept wondering what to do, and kept putting off breaking up with each other. The wedding was last may, and it was excruciating beyond belief. She was absolutely stunning, and it was hard for us to keep under control and not start making out after the ceremony. Anywho, now we are obviously living together and it really has been killing us!!!! We say to our freinds that we're broken up now and we've moved on but there could'nt be a bigger lie! Actually, our parents seem really impressed at how well we get along, but they said that they sense some tension between the two of us. Ya, well, its sexual tension! That being my point. Would it be wrong to start having sex again? and before you start thinking anything like us not being safe, she uses the pill and i use condoms, and we've both been 'checked'. And should we tell our parents? What do you thing they would say? would we ruin the family by continuing our relationship? pleeease help be fore we both kill ourselves, which has been one of her frequent topics of discussion.
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male
reader, shmueltzvy  +, writes (13 March 2013):
Read Leviticus chapters 18 and 20 with your parents. They will see that there is no problem of incest. There is no blood relationship. Would they have broken up if you two had married first? (Several states allow marriage as young as 14 if there is a pregnancy.) Let your love be your guiding light.
A
male
reader, Wulfgrimm  +, writes (23 July 2008):
Well, I am glad to have helped! I hope it all works out well for you. Sounds like its going pretty good so far (well for the most part) Good luck!
-Cris
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains  +, writes (23 July 2008):
 Well done on getting it sorted out! Have fun, and enjoy your life.
Jelly
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): Wow, it sounds like you have very understanding parents. That's great news. I hope everything works out for all 4 of you in the long run. I don't think that you commited any crime, as both of you were 15 at the time.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI took some of you guy's advice, and we've talked with our parents, with a lot of crying on my stepsister's part. she actually at one point started shouting at my mum and went up to her room, but i calmed her down and brought her back. we explained everything, and asked why they didnt tell us. they said that they didnt want to put undue pressure on us, being freinds and all, and that they thought we would start to hate each other. but we realized that we were partly at fault too, also keeping our relationship secret from them, but that would have driven them apart for our sake, and the we all agreed that it was best for it to work out the way it did, which has them together and us somewhat together still. they didnt have a clue that we were dating, cause they were too blinded by their own love. mum did say that she suspected something at christmas, but didnt think much of it. then dad brought up the subject of sex, and we admitted to it, and he asked when we started, we said it was a couple weeks befor e they announced their engagement. creepily enough, even though i didnt point it out, it was the night that they both went to a "company dinner" which they admitted was when dad asked mum to marry, my girlfreind and i were at my place doing you know what. now that i realize it, we were both 15 at the time! is that illegal? anywho, they say that the first time is never perfect, which it wasnt, but it was quite actually funny for both of us cause we both didnt know what to do! thats off topic but whatever. anywho, adding to the creepiness story, after their dinner mum went to dads and im assuming they did you know what, and that part of my story is pretty twisted, and im sure im better off not having realized that. im not gunna tell my stepsister, cause im sure that would scar her pretty badly and probly never speak to any of us again... lol. but getting back to the subject, dad was pretty mad and asked if we did it while we were living together, and we said we didnt do anything other than a couple showers together, and that was it. we all talked a bit more about the gravity of the situation, and we came somewhat to a consensus. mum thought that the family is pretty much screwed, that she still cared about us, she wants to stay with my dad, and if we wanted, my sister and i could have the apartment til we settled everything out, while they stayed at the house. we accepted that offer, but she said that we'd have to pay the rent, which is $900 a month, but she said that she could help with it, and we wont have much to worry about since I get $10.25 an hour at a chevron, and my sister averages around $20 an hour, and thats tips along with her wages, so we'll be alright. we're within bus and walking distance to the mall, work, and even our school. im sure this will all work out in the long run. our parents are 36 and 37, and still act like theyre 25, so if we cant work as a family, we could work fine as just great freinds later on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2008): Reading Uncle Phil's link, it seems clear that the leagal age of consent in Canada is now 16, but the 2 of you are still safe because one is 15 and the other is less than 5 years older. So neither of you have broken any law.
I don't know the law about step sibblings marrying, but there would most likely be a problem if your parents decided to adopt the other child. I think that would present a problem in the USA, but I'm not sure. That issue is probably complex.
Anyway, I agree with what the others have said. I see no reason for the 2 of you to break up. You were dating before they announced their engagement. I do have one caution though. A relationship sometimes becomes more difficult when 2 people are living together. Sometimes 2 people are perfectly happy for years dating and then get married or move in together and discover that life is not as easy when they are together 24/7. Just keep this in mind in case there is tension between the 2 of you. I do think that you need to tell your parents and explain that you believe that you 2 should still be able to be boyfriend/girlfriend even though your parents are now married.
Good luck and let us know what is happening.
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male
reader, anonymous11 +, writes (19 July 2008):
well seems like every1 covered all the aspects of this situation and i no im prob repeating some1 only read a couple but ,neways, i dont see nething rong with u 2 continuing ur relationship ,after all u 2 were dating b4 ur parents and they seem not to think of u 2 ,sry for that, as for the subject of wat other ppl who gives a damn
and hell if the legal age in canada is 14 im moving there
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2008): It would not be wrong to start having sex again. You need to check the laws in Canada to see if stepsiblings can marry. But you aren't blood related, so it is not incest for you to have sex with each other. Your parents should understand that you were datinge each other before they got married, and they shouldn't expect you to stop just because you both live in the same house now. I would keep seeing each other, but you will have to decide whether to keep it a secret from them. The other option is for one of you to go live with your other biological parent so you won't be stepsiblings.
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female
reader, mellons +, writes (18 July 2008):
Hi
This is such as delicate situation and I must say I do feel for both of you right now. Indeed your parents must have felt that it was best to keep their relationship quiet until they were sure about their love for each other. I can undertand that too. However, the fact that you were seeing your girlfriend well before they declared their engagement and long term plan for each other I cannot see the reason why you should beat upon yourselves. Sit your parents down and tell them about the situation and how you both feel right now. I guess all parties will hurt by the news and the disclousure but it is necessary for this to come to light to prevent you two from doing something stupid and to create a better atmosphere within the home.
In every way the short term situation is likely to be tricky, simply because you are both 16 and it would not seem right for your parents to give consent for of you to have sex under their roof. You are not blood related but I guess morally you would want to respect your parents by keeping your sex life private although you should not deny it has not taken place.
For the long term I would say try and work with the idea that only two years to go and you can go off and live together if you so wish without worrying about what others may think or say. On the otherhand remember that you are both very young and will still need lots of support and guidance from your parents for the future and for your educational development so, bear this in mind if you are thinking of setting up a future together. You will likely become a provider and so will need to be earning a good wage.
Finally, when I was your age I would have felt like giving up altogether. This is due to immaturity on the one part and how you feel for each other and the situation that you are faced with. Nevertheless, it is not the end of the world because two people fell in love in a difficult environment. The answer is to see how best you can work around the limited resources you have to comfort each other.
If you are both still not happy with the situation I would suggest that you all consult a family counsellor to work with all of you to create a better working relationship.
Good luck.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (18 July 2008):
 Not to be mean, but your parents sound like completely selfish people. They expect you two, the original lovers, if you will, to break it off and cut your romantic ties for their own relationship, and then they act clueless when they see you near each other? they're asking a TON of you two to act as siblings when you have been lovers. you two are not blood related and I would confront your parents, and say something about how you would never split them up because of their love, but you two have been forced to split because of THEIR love, and that isn't fair. I'm really upset by this scenario,I really feel for you. Please tell your girl that it isn't worth sacrificing her life over, because where does that leave you? you need to talk to your parents. they can't keep you apart, nor should they. and it would be worse if they walked into something between you two than just heard it straight from the horses' mouths-- be responsible about telling, just as you are with your protection.
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female
reader, fishdish +, writes (18 July 2008):
Not to be mean, but your parents sound like completely selfish people. They expect you two, the original lovers, if you will, to break it off and cut your romantic ties for their own relationship, and then they act clueless when they see you near each other? they're asking a TON of you two to act as siblings when you have been lovers. you two are not blood related and I would confront your parents, and say something about how you would never split them up because of their love, but you two have been forced to split because of THEIR love, and that isn't fair. I'm really upset by this scenario,I really feel for you. Please tell your girl that it isn't worth sacrificing her life over, because where does that leave you? you need to talk to your parents. they can't keep you apart, nor should they.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): If you can make sense of it, have a read of this:
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2008/05/01/crime-bill.html?ref=rss
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A
female
reader, babewithbrains +, writes (17 July 2008):
It was silly to lie about you breaking up.
Your parents have probs guessed something happened.
You are not blood relatives - there is nothing wrong with what you are doing.
Your parents are cruel to think you can ignore your feelings like that!
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A
male
reader, Wulfgrimm +, writes (17 July 2008):
Well, as you guys were dating befor you became "step siblings" I don't see a reason to break it off.
Obviously you guys really like each other, and like I said this happend befor the wedding. As for your friends, who cares? They will think what they want to, you can't please everyone.
I say get back together,
Good luck!
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