A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Should I break up with my girl if she won't give me the pleasure I want? She's always making up excuses so as not to do what I want and, just for the record, I always give her whatever she wants, even without her having to ask me for it. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, ashlydance33  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 Based on the information you added, I'd say it sounds like you two may not be compatible. If you can't see yourself with her in five years, or maybe ten years, as the person she is today and not who she might become, then I'd say it's not worth it.
Not every relationship starts out the same. I assume by "spice" you mean passion. Although passion isn't always necessary for a successful relationship it is for some people.
There are a few possible senerios I can think of:
a) She's content being in a relationship without much passion but you are not. This being the case, maybe it's time to move on.
b) She craves passion but doesn't feel it for you, whether she realizes it or not. This being the case, it may be another signal for you to move on.
c) She craves passion but doesn't know how to show it or ask for it. This being the case, you might want to talk to her and see if there is anything you can do that would absolutely drive her wild.
Hope this helps and good luck
A
male
reader, AaroNR +, writes (9 March 2010):
know that i know u love her that much it might of changed some of my answers a little but i dont have much time 2night so i just wanted 2 add this could b more difficult than i had thought but the one 10 yr relationship i told u about started off with no spice at all either u seem like me and try 2 hold on to things when your not completely happy well it depends if u can spend the rest of your life with this girl with mediocre sex with a great friendship or take your chances and move on (easier said than done) to look 4 that hot passionate partner and HOPE THAT SHE'LL MEET THE REST OF YOUR NEEDS THAT YOUR CURRENT ONE DOES. but over all i think hot sex spark comes when first getting to know some 1 but dont let it go 10 years like i did i never thought i could find both in some 1 but i finally did it can happen! and I KNOW i loved our sex in the begining and now but it could have been 10 times hotter if it wouldnt have been 4 my insecurities and being deprived 4 10 years really stunted my growth sexuallly
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A
male
reader, AaroNR +, writes (9 March 2010):
i agree with a couple of the other answers in which there could b a serious reason why she wont perform certain things. i suggest making her feel very cofortable with talking 2 u and tell her communication is key. tell her your very concerned why she wil not do these things, is there a reason behind it (depending on how extreme your desires are).but if she refuses to communicate with u(depending how long you've known eachother)than i suggest stepping back and giving it a thought how important she is to u. if your just using eachother 4 sex than keep it as it is until something better comes along. but if she has true feelings 4 u and your considering leaving her over this before its even been brought 2 a serious attention, then dont lead her on any further. i used 2 b a sex phene 12 years ago then i met some 1 that sex was the last thing on her mind and i spent 10 years had 3 kids and i thought she wwould eventually change, because a certain amount of sexual activity was important to me in a relationship.well... she didnt change and it ended up being a significant part of our demise. so take it from me, communicate, compramize, find out answers questions early on, make quick decisions on whether or not you are happy early on because TIME WILL NOT CHANGE THINGS and time flys and u cant get it back
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm sorry, I really gave to little information about our relationship. We've been together 3 years, and love each other very much. I just thought that after 3 years she'd be a lot more loose than she was when we were starting. I understood perfectly every reason she gave me at the beginning not to do some things I wanted, but after three years I feel sort of lonely. I love the cuddling and the kissing, especially the cuddling, I could sit in the beach and watch the sun set every day cuddled with her in the sand. All of you just rushed to say that I don't care about her if I'm thinking of leaving her, that really hurt my feelings, but I won't complain... I didn't write enough information about me and my girl.
I've heard that relationships at the beggining are supposed to be all about ripping each other's clothes because of that passion we feel about each other, and then later things settle down a bit but never stop. I feel that we didn't have that spice at the beginning, it was nice but how can I expect it to go up if at the beginning it wasn't that spicy? So I was just wondering if I would be better off with someone as... I can't find a word, but maybe I'll say spiced-up, someone as spiced-up as me.
Thanks.
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A
male
reader, uncutdan +, writes (8 March 2010):
 if she isn't into the kind of sex you want, it'll be difficult to maintain a long term relationship with her.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): If she doesn't ask, how do you know she actually does want what you are doing to her? She might be putting up with that to please you and is too nervous about doing things for you. If you are considering breaking up with her over this then she can't mean alot too you, and I hope she has the sense not to want you back.
If you genuinely care for her and want to take things further cos you love her, then start talking to her and being sensitive to how she feels.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): I am assuming by pleasure you are talking about some sex act. If the girl is in your age group and she doesn't want to have sex and you can't respect that then yes, do her a favor and break up with her. You obviously only are in this for the sex. If you can't communicate with her or respect her feelings then you aren't ready for a serious relationship.
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A
female
reader, hunnie poo  +, writes (8 March 2010):
i think u should talk to her about it... if u really do love this girl/woman than u should do what it takes to be together maybe their is something about u??? i'm woman and i'm in the same way with my husband its not like i dont want to yes i mean he give me very thing i need and want but their is someway more than that we woman likes and want the word for it is "LOVE" saying nice things calling her lovely names and so on.... think about it and see what u can change and see what happens than
Hope I was some help to u and not bother u lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2010): Hey. Listen, if she doesn't like something, she DOESN'T LIKE IT. Pressure will just make her worse. However, seeing as you do what she wants... just cut off those priviliges once in a while with a dumb excuse. See how she reacts.
If that doesn't work, I don't see a future if you're not compatble, but be nice about it, ok? Just say it's not her it's you... because, it is...
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A
female
reader, themisses +, writes (8 March 2010):
Maybe there is a reason behind it. Instead of just trying to get her to do it talk to her about why she won't. Tell her it would be nice to experience it. Maybe you're trying in a very forceful way which bothers her. Take her out to dinner and a movie and have a sensual night. Maybe give her a nice massage and satisfy her and then she will be more willing to try things for you.
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A
male
reader, Kenj  +, writes (8 March 2010):
 If your thinking of breaking off because she wont please you then you dont love her. She may have issues with not doing what you want, try talking with her.
In a comitted relationship, its a poor reason to break up.
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