A
male
age
41-50,
*edicinemanrp
writes:My girlfriends' family is always living with us. All summer, we have had SOMEONE from her family to live with us, and we have had MAYBE 7 days/nights alone. It's a brother or sister, and thier girlfriend/boyfriend. they are still in thier late teens/early twenties, so they sometimes need a place to stay. when I complain, she says I am being selfish. She could care less if we ever had time alone with each other. I say that I just want to be with HER, ALONE some. Yes, I like my house TO MYSELF SOME! I have been on unemployment for six months. My little unemployment covers the rent, elect., and all the bills...no one else helps out. So yes, I like my house and my girlfriend ALONE to myself some. I don't mind helping out once in a while if others need a place to stay.Am I wrong for wanting time alone with her, and my house to myself some? If I am being selfish, someone please tell me. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2009): If it annoys you speak up and tell your girlfriend and let her pass on the message. If she won't tread carefully while you diplomatically explain why you cannot be hosting to the point you have no privacy.On the other hand, it is kind of nice that you have relatives that want to stay with you. Pitch to them that you need help for their upkeep as you've no job and that they should get a clue that money for food doesn't grow on the trees.In summary you have been wrong in not speaking up for yourself and how you feel about the constant visitors. Now get a grip and SPEAK OUT!
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (22 October 2009):
No, you're not being selfish. This is a bit of a problem. You really need to sit her down and talk about this. Do it gently, because she will get upset, but be firm. Tell her that you would really like to spend time together as a couple, without the hassle of the family, and that you'd also like some space just to be yourself in your house. Also, though I'm sure you're looking, really try hard to find a job (I know it's hard at the moment). That will give more sway to your argument that you need more time to yourself.
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A
female
reader, robinp93401 +, writes (22 October 2009):
You are not being selfish at all. Having constant house guests would drive me crazy. You should feel comfortable in your own home and be able to do what you want when you want to do it. Why don't you do just that? Start walking around in your birthday suit (nude)!! I know it seems drastic but since your girlfriend isn't listening to your pleas of distress, why not make it a not so pleasant experience for the guests. Desperate times....etc.
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