A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My gf has co-worker (married) whom I've met. He is generous with his compliments (you look gorgeous, signs emails "XXX", your hair looks beautiful, you're boyfriend is lucky). And when talking to her, he touches her shoulder/arm often. He is an older guy and probably likes to dote on younger, pretty co-workers who look up to him for professional advice. I don't consider myself jealous, but I am a man and this stuff doesn't sit well with me. I just think, I wouldn't act like him out of respect to my gf.He is very kind and could very well be looking out for my gf's best interest in her field so I anxiously want to like him and support her relationship with him....Am I over-reacting? Or is he crossing a line?
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male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (13 November 2007):
 Hi,
its probably harmless. He looks like he has taken a shine to your girl. However on the other hand, how would your girlfriend feel if an older women was being very touchy feely with you at work? I don't think she would be too happy.
But this is not to say you should have it out with your girlfriend, she is doing nothing wrong by the sounds of it and probably thinks that it's crazy for you to be growing a little jealous.
However at the end of the day, a man is showing signs of affection to your partner which go beyond normal work colleagues. Your girlfriend should at least understand this.
A
female
reader, Relationship_Talk_In_A_Box +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Two things come to mind here. One, how did you become aware of this situation? Did your mate tell you this to get a rise out of you, or do you work in the same office and observed this behavior? Two, ask youself if you want a partner who would let other people cross her intimate boundaries for special favors in the work place? Many woman allow others to flirt with them to make themselves feel good because they are not receiving this type of attention at home. So, if it bothers you, validate her by flirting more with her and letting her know how special she is to you and maybe receiving this type of attention from you will in turn motivate her to set some boundaries with the co-worker when situations arise on her own without any prompting from you.
I hope this is helpful and you will find that people will make their own decisions based on how satisfied they are in their current relationship.
Relationship In A Box.com
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 It sounds to me as though he's crossing the line somewhat. It really depends on their relationship. It's also possible she enjoys the attention and let's him get away with it. By telling you she puts it out on the table so you can't say she's keeping it a secret. I'm playing the devil's advocate but it is often the beginning of a bad scenario. That is not necessarily the case here and she's up front about it but keep yourself in the loop.
As you know, often guys will fish to test the waters and then capitalize if they see an opportunity. At the same time, yo have to trust her. It's flattering to get compliments and hopefully she knows where to draw the ultimate line if needed. There is a big gray area here.
The line that gets my attention is..."your boyfriend is a lucky guy"...Let's dissect that statement. If he said it out of the blue, it could only mean one thing. That would be..."He's lucky because he has you. I wish I were that lucky. In order to be as lucky as him, I need to have you too." If she had been telling him about some big surprise she had planned for you and he said it, it would mean he's lucky to have someone who's interested in pleasing him. It all depends.
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A
male
reader, bigbenlondon  +, writes (12 November 2007):
 Well he sounds a little bit sleezy to me.
I personally would feel that he is crossing the line, however there are people in the world who are.. shall we say naturally flirty.
Ultimately if your girlfriend is prepared to grit her teeth and and be nice to him (even if she is doing so just to further her career) then I would say support her and be prepared to grit your teeth also.
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