A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hiya need some tips on what to do here. Well my wife recenly lost her dad, shes taking this extremely hard but refuses to show any emotion. I say refuse she holds it back, i don't know if she does cry when i've gone to work because hes having time off at the moment. But when i am in sometimes when she goes in the kitchen or is just watching tv or something you can sort of see her start to cry as if its come without warning but then she stops it and puts on a ahppy face. Infact i havent seen her cry about this since the night he died when i was up most of the night with her. Sometimes i have notice that once when she went to get a drink i saw her grab hold of the side as if she was having to hold something to stop herelf from crying. I know she has to be strong for our daughter but this is just worrying. You can tell how much she wants to and needs to cry becasue its got to the point where the tears just come without warning and she has no control over it then she suddenly stops it so no one notices. I can't get her to talk can't get her to cry or anything. becasue seeing her like this is just heartbreaking. As much as i hate to see her cry right now i just want to make her cry just to get her to let it out. I want her to open up more but how? She ust keeps saying shes fine. i don't know what to say to her or do! In a way i want to make her cry but in another i want her to do it herself. How can i get her to open up? i don't know what to do. I'm always thinking about her at work and its taking over. Please help.
View related questions:
at work Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (13 November 2007):
 What I say below might not necessarily apply if your wife has had any previous mental condition or disorder. There are cultural differences to grief, which may mean some aspects do not apply.
Grieving is pretty much an automatic thing that happens and we all do it in different ways. It'll be happening in your wife. It takes time. There's no right or wrong way. There are stages that people go through. And sometimes remain at a stage for some time. Crying is only one emotion. If she needs to cry - she will. If she needs to open up - she will. What can you do to help? Ask her what she is feeling from time to time. Don't have any upsets, arguments , conflicts, animosity. Don't make her have to worry about you - or what I mean is no more than usual. Life doesn't want to be too "spiky" or too "loud" - that's the best way I can put it. Keep normality and routine going - but if she doesnt want to be routine - then she doesn't have to - just being there is enough. If you witness what you might call "odd" behaviour - I wouldn't worry - it's normal to behave differently for a while.
|
