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male
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anonymous
writes: Four weeks ago my g/f left me while I was at work. She left a note saying, "I'm sorry but I've left you, need some time on my own, staying with a mate, take care. I'm sorry. Thanks for everything."We were together 3 years, and the night before she went she told me how much she loved me, now I have no means of contacting her and she hasn't been to see her parents. Is there any chance that she is coming back or have I lost everything?please help
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female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (21 March 2006):
 My best friend's boyfriend once told her on a Saturday that he loved her, that he had been taking too much in the relationship and that he needed to give more, he had been selfish and he wanted it all to change, he wanted to be a better boyfriend because she was the girl he wanted to marry and he was so sorry that sometimes he hadn't been the best boyfriend but now he was going to change and things would be wonderful.
He broke up with her 24 hours later.
I understand your pain. After seeing how confused and upset my friend was, I can understand how you are feeling.
It really doesn't seem fair that people can toy with peoples emotions by saying one thing, leading people to believe they care about them or want a future with them, then suddenly spin around and do something completely different.
I think that, as hard as it is, you need to move on and seek closure.
This girl, who no doubt has her own issues here, treated you very unfairly.
I believe that when a relationship ends, every person has the right to be told to their face - not via note or email, that the relationship is over and why.
It is not fair after that amount of time and investment to simply leave a note and think that is acceptable. It is cowardly.
I think that whilst you think you have lost everything, you have actually gained because you deserve better than to be treated like this.
Go out and do something nice for yourself, take some time to grieve and contemplate the relationship and also to think about the sort of girl you really need in your life.
Take care of yourself. I know it sucks but this is an opportunity for you to find what you really want and need in this world.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2006): I am sorry for your pain. It's been four weeks and there's been no contact from her...then you are better off to wipe the dust from your shoes and move on. If she loved you, she'd be right there, now. She should've been more honest, open and at least sat you down and told you what was happening. You may never get any explanation of "why' this happened but I think if you were to sit and be really honest with yourself, you will recognize the signs that you missed, along the way. If you really want to put this to rest, forgive her and move on with your life. That's not just the only way..it's the healthiest way. Good luck and take care
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female
reader, atomic +, writes (20 March 2006):
That's a hard one chuck, in my opinion, if a girl that I loved so much did that to me, she's not worth having your love because if she loved you as much as you thought, she wouldn't have just left you in the way she did! She may be back, but before you take her back entirely, think about what you are doing, she may be trying to get something out of you and using you, eg money, housing..? I'm just guessing here! I hate to say it but you have got to face up to that she may have found someone else and this was her cowardley way of telling you! Move on, she doesn't deserve your love..x
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