| A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I did something horribly wrong and stupid this past week and need advice very badly. This weekend my BF of 8 years and I went on a business trip. While on this trip I had the opportunity to meet an online male friend I've known for over 10 years, but had never met in person. My BF also talks to this guy online and its a very non-sexual type thing. However, one evening while on vacation we all went drinking. I got very drunk and ended up open-mouth kissing this other guy with my BF just a few feet away. I am SO mortified that I did this. I know that if I were in a sober state nothing like this would have ever happened. To make matters worse about 6 years ago, something similar happened, but worse. Again, a male friend of mine was over and we were all drinking too much and in the end I ended up having sex with the other guy. My BF was there and he said it was ok. However, I think he was more expecting me to be able to reason and say "no I don't want to." But, in that drunken state all reasoning ability was gone. After that I swore to my BF that I would never cheat again. But here I am. :-(Now because of what I did this past week, I think my BF wants to end our relationship. I feel terrible for what I did and words cannot express how sorry I am. I want to stay together with my BF and do love him very, very much. I need to know what to do to save the relationship. I need to re-build his trust in me, but that is so hard because of what I did and my past actions. As a very small first step, I have sworn off drinking all together. Any ideas or suggestions or help you have to offer are appreciated.
View related questions:
drunk, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, lisa_01  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 First off i just have to say i really feel for your man, what pain he must being having from your actions. i think that this a major blow to your relationship and i think that your man is revaluating whats just happen and weather or not if he wants to stay with you. Yea sure if you get drunk there is that chance you dont know what your doing but really lets look at the facts here, your the one who had too much to drink, you new what your doing and you know what could happen if you have to much to drink (sleeping with another guy in past).Going out and drinking way too much then kissing another man or flirting or whatever is no way of gaining your mans trust back from the first fling you had.cheating on your man is no way of showing how much you love him, you should have taken responsibility for how much you where going to drink and also who you are going to be drinking around,maybe for now instead of drinking around men that are friends maybe just drink around your man at home and im sure he would most appreciate you sleeping with him rather one of his friends. its really your mans choice on weather this relationship is going to work, if he wants to continue with it i suggest you prove to him that your trustworthy,you can start doing this by showing responsibility with your drinking, if he says no to the relationship then you need to accept his choice and move on and i hope that you learn from his choice and that you dont hurt anyone else.
A
female
reader, Jadzia1127  +, writes (21 March 2006):
 If you really want help then you have to take a hard look in the mirror.
You have a big problem on your hands and it is not your boyfriend. He is probably just coming to terms with your self destructive behavior. He has to decide if he wants to be your enabler or walk away to save his sanity and heart.
If this relationship is worth saving then you need to admit you have a problem. Your drinking is out of control, for you get out of control while drinking. Be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and get some help.
Here are some resources for you http://alcoholism.about.com/?once=true&
...............................
A
male
reader, d4u04  +, writes (20 March 2006):
 Well can I just state for future reference having been in similar situations, when people say drunkeness is no excuse, I beg to differ! If you're THAT drunk, anything can happen and you probably wouldn't even rememba most of it. Anyway, sorry about that, back to you.
My advice is, tell your boyfriend as he has a right to know if you've cheated, accidently or not. Convey how sorry you are and if he forgives and forgets then great, but if he can't and does end it, it probably will hurt but it's not the end of the world and life will go on regardless. I think it's very wise you have sworn off drinking because you don't need to be drunk to have fun and it only leads to problems later in life anyway if you do it excessively anyway. So if he does end it, by all means be upset, have a good cry, but try not to dwell on it as it will only start to eat you up
...............................
|
