A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi me and my gf have recently started having sex. W ehave been together over a yr and have been friends since infant school. It just she loves the sex,as do i. but she doesn't like the fact of doing it because shes taking her clothes off. She doesn't like me to see her naked because she doesn't like hoe she looks and even just taking her trousers and pants of makes her feel uneasy and paranoid. Shes is absolutly beautiful. Yes shes right she doesn't have the biggest of breasts but does it really matter? She knows its her i want and no one else. I have been in love with her for about 3 yrs but i didn't tell her for 2 because i wanted to make sure it wasn't just a crush and that she was the one which she is. It took us a while with the having sex thing because she just couldn't relax and this was one of the reasons. Whenever we have sex she doesn't have to take everything off she normally leaves her top on although i would lke her to take it off but if i touch her legs or something she gets really shy and embarrassed and theres nothing to be embarrassed about! Shes said that she would like me to go down on her but she won't let me because i will see her. She doesn't even like taking her pants off because she is partly naked. Its not the fact of the sex because she knows we don't have to do anything she doesn't wnat to and all she has to do is say. its just she doesn't like the thought of me seeing her naked because she thinks she looks horrible. I have actually seen her naked before but she doesn't know because it was accidental and she didn't know about it. What can i do to boost her confidence and stop her being like this. I egt so tempted to want to touch her body whenwe have sex and even when we are just in bed because shes the most beautiful thing out there but she seems to be afraid of something.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Asexy  +, writes (8 October 2007):
 You might show her this and let her know that you wrote it. Let her know, all the time, over and over, that you find her beautiful. And different men find different things sexy. For all the guys who like big-breasted women, there are an equal number of guys who think that "more than a mouthful is a waste" [grin].
Go to http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com/ and get her to look at some of the videos there -- they'll show how impossible it is for any woman to be "perfect" (in one video, it takes a "normal" woman, and takes her through to the billboard commercial -- complete with the PHOTOSHOP work that makes her neck longer and her eyes bigger. No woman can compete with that.
You'll need to be willing to go through a long campaign of frequently telling her that she's beautiful before her automatic reaction is to say "no I'm not."
ALSO, tell her that you find it insulting for her to belittle your opinion of beauty. (Use nicer words, lol.) But if you say "you look good" and she says "no I don't" she's basically said you have bad taste. AND YOU DON'T!
Good luck.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2007): hey :)
dunno if any other girl out there thinks this
but personally for me, if im about to have sex with my b/f i like to know that i turn him on.
like many guys out there who gain confidence by knowiung they can turn a girl on
same goes for girls!
so prove to her how much she turns you on
tell her you think she's beautiful
this makes us feel more comfortable in knowing that your enjoying what we are doing to you
and as tommy7 said, try having sex in the dark, she might gain confidence through knowing you cant see her but you can still touch her!
hope this helps :)
x.x.x
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (8 October 2007):
Keep telling her she looks great to you and that's all you care about. Try making love in the dark. Time and experience may increase her confidence.
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A
female
reader, BlueEyedAngel +, writes (8 October 2007):
 The thing you need to do is everyday tell her how beatiful she is and assure her that you are happy with her. Tell her that if she feels better she can get naked and light candles and the room will be dim and maybe that will break the ice a little about her being naked in front of you, I was once like her and the candles lite really helped me get over me being consince about what my body looked like. The main thing is telling her everyday she is beautiful. Good luck and let me know how it goes.
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