A
female
age
30-35,
*istoryGeekGirl02
writes:So...I'm a sixteen year old girl who is MADLY in love with her 56 year old World History teacher (who just so happens to be married with kids who are older than me!). All of my friends are so disgusted and think I'm sick! I don't know what to do! When I'm around him all I do is get bright red and I can barely talk!I don't have him as a teacher this year but I did last year and all I did was humiliate myself because any time he called on me or said my name I would turn BRIGHT red and not know what to do. I love history and I know a lot about world history too, and I got so nervous during his tests that I basically got bad grades on all of them because I was too focused on him.And I have a feeling he knows too! He caught me staring at him during an all school mass (yeah I go to a Catholic school) and he just chuckled and winked at me. And he keeps calling me Marie Antoinette because I adore the French Revolution and I usually find some way to wear my hair like she did (only not as huge). And last year, I took a dare, and I wasn't allowed to wear underwear to school. So, I had no panties on and in his class I sat in the front row. I forgot about my no underwear situation and had my legs spread. He stopped mid sentance and looked at me for what seemed like an eternity. Then he cleared his throat and asked everyone what he'd been talking about. He claimed he couldn't remember because he was distracted. Then after class he made me stay so we could look over my test. He NEVER does that! We corrected the test in class that day! And oh dear god I love him so much! And I have all these really dirty dreams about him too and I wake up all hot and bothered and seeing him that day at school is SO awkward for me!! Gahh!HELP!!!!!! I have no idea what to do! And I can't ask any of my friends for advice because they would be so grossed out! What should I do??
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female
reader, Tara53 +, writes (4 March 2009):
Hun, you are not sick. No one can control their emotions completely but we all must accept responcibilty for our actions and consequences.
Your teacher sounds like a very intelligent person about the subjuct you love, of course you will put him on a pedestal and think he's perfect but he is also a man. Men do not think right at all when they get to that age and are temtped with a young, beautiful girl like yourself.
Do not be the reason his life and your falls apart when you get pregnant from a mistake and he goes to jail.
A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Ah yes, been there done that. I had a crush on one of my profs in college (still keep in touch with him now and we've been flirting a lot lately). We've known each other for five years and I graduated three years ago.Two rules of thumb about this:1) He is a married man with children. As much as I would like a teacher, I would never flirt or act on a married man.2) You are still his student. If caught you could get into serious trouble, he would lose his job and his credibility is tarnished.You are also under-age, which is also a no-no.Believe me, there are lots of students who crush and fanatize about their teachers; it's perfectly normal. My advice to you is when you're in his class and you start to get all hot and bothered, excuse yourself from the class, take a deep breath and get a drink of water. Definitely do not act on these feelings. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (4 March 2009):
 oops ... disturbing typo ... I meant to say
"I do think you know what I am talking about her"
instead of "I dont' think you know ..."
(this sound very condescending, doesn't it ... sorry .. meant to write something then changed it ... I meant to write I don't want to write at length because you may already be aware of the law on minor/under age sex - then I thought a shorter sentence was suficient - but forgot to delete cleanly .... baaadd fingers!)
Sorrryyy...
Cat
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2009): hello there. I think that you need to remember the reason you like him. If you spend enough time with someone you will eithe rget irratated by them or attracted to them. I think maybe your are drawn to your teacher not because you are in love with him but because you have had the chance to get to know part of him.he is no doubt passionat about teaching and if you mistake this passion for something about you. Or miss read the situation then you can easily find yourself in this possition.If your friends think your sick for having a crush on him then there not really very understanding then are they, You might be mature for your age and they are simply acting there age dont be to hard done by it. simply put dont act on your feelings but by all means enjoy it while it lasts
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat +, writes (4 March 2009):
Gosh, when I was in high school I had a crush on my history/psychology teacher too. I thought he was the most handsome man on the planet! I also admired him immensely for what he had overcome in his life. He had only one arm because of an accident early in his life, but that did not stop him from being a good person. Everybody knew I had a crush on him, but the big difference being that they thought it was just "cute" and not "gross". (Although I had a suspicion that they laughed behind my back .. but who cared ... LOL) I got over the crush as soon as I left high school though LOL
Now back to you. I think teachers are used to having their students having a crush on them. But there are so many things that you have to be wary of, so you need to know these things:
(1) Law: you are underage, and anything you do with an adult in a sexual manner, the adult can be considered as breaking the law. I don't think you know what I am talking about here.
(2) Code of ethics: there is a reason why students-teachers (be in primary, secondary or tertiary shools) are not to have a relationship with each other while in the same institution. It is called "power relations", or more appropriately, "abuse of power". The teacher can use his power over the student, to make demands on sexual favors, or other gratituities. The student can "blackmail" the teachers to give good grades. And so forth.
(3) Your own conscience. Think of his family, think of yours. If you were his wife, or children, would you be hurt to know he had an affair with you? Do NOT tempt him with sexual innuendos. Do NOT ever put yourself in a position that you are alone in his presence, knowing how you feel about him, and he you. In other words, under any circumstance do not tempt him "to go there".
Other than that, you can gush and dream and fantasize about him all you want. When you are in college, or when you have a family later on, you will look back at this time in your high school with sooo much warm memory. And if by then you want to get in touch with him and tell him about your huge crush on him, go ahead and make his day! But not right now :-)
Have fun (in a good way) in school.
Cat
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A
male
reader, Mr Me +, writes (4 March 2009):
 Honestly, stop... you're only 16 and you're talking about a guy who is happily married with children. If you do anything, you chance ruining his life to jail time. If you really care about him, do not let anything happen!!!
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