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male
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anonymous
writes: i'm 19, and the girl in question is 18. i have know her for about 4 years, she was my gf briefly in the past. we always stayed friends. in the past 5 months we started talking a lot more on the phone and texting each other. after a while i got the courage to ask her out but she said "no not at the moment." and i understood her reasons why. in the last month we've been texting it has been very suggestive and flirty. i've only met up with her lately an odd time just as friends, sometimes even meeting up for an hour or 2 for some drinks with some friends. the trouble is i cant seem to find a suitable situation to get closer to her. also what i'm confused about is ahe doesn't seem to want to be alone with me and only sees me or texts me when she isn't doing anything else. she knows where she stands with me and knows i really like her, what she texts seems to stay as just texts and nothing, as far as i'm concerned is achieved from it. my friend reckons i should be more forceful about it and "make a move on her". but i'm scared of being rejected again, and it will be in person and not text if i do that. sorry for the question being complicated, but i need help. what can i do and what should i do????????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2006): I think that you should look for someone else and not obsess on one gal. There are plenty of fish in the sea and one big problem is that you were friends at firts which is what might make it impossible bacause once you are a friend, then nothing will work for you
A
female
reader, Kanda  +, writes (31 August 2006):
go with your gut not what you want. being impulsive wont help you and over all GO SLOWWWWWWW especially since you arent sure.
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A
female
reader, Helen1986  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 I think this girl just wants to be friends with you. She knows exactly how you feel about her and this is probably the reason she doesn't like to be alone with you because she doesn't want to be in the situation where she has to let you down again. She obviously wants to be friends with you and this is why she still txts you. I suggest that you don't ask her again as she has made her feelings clear. If in time she feels that she does like you leave to her to make the move. Maybe if you stop txting her and wait for her to txt you she will start to miss the attention and realise that she does like you. Play a little hard to get, it might work. Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): Hi,Hmm a tricky one. It sounds to me like she likes all the attention you give her but is not interested in taking things further. I think she has probably realised you're trying to get closer to her and that's why she avoids situations when you're alone together. That said she continues to text you so that you'll flirt back with her because it makes her feel good. My advice to you would be to play it very cool. I think you could get hurt otherwise. Don't stick your neck out until you are certain of her feelings because you could end up losing the friendship. What ever you do don't let her use you as an ego boost you are worth more. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted to hear but i thought it best to be brutally honest. Best of luck, if it doesn't go your way then it sounds like it's her loss. x
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