A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi. I found out recently that my friend lied about how far she'd been with her ex-boyfriend. We were at a sleepover and she told all of us that he'd fingered her and she'd given him a blow job. Im friends with her ex-boyfriend and i had a feeling she'd lied about it so I asked him and he said that none of it was true. I don't know what to do, cause I don't understand why she'd lie about it, but I also feel kinda angry about it. Should I talk to her about it, or just forget it? xxx
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female
reader, cheekyfriday  +, writes (6 November 2010):
Which friend really lied to you? The man that said he did do it, maybe he doesn't want you to know what went on.
There is a reason why sex is private. And I really don't think this lie will kill your relationship with either of them.
Sometimes you need to mind your own business.
A
female
reader, bethevans +, writes (6 November 2010):
 Hello,
i'm just a bit older than you but i thought seeing as i'm near your age group i would explain what i felt when i read this.
your friend obviously feels pressured by the fact that she has a boyfriend and nothing has happened; no doubt this is probably because she's scared. Also; i don't mean to be negative, but i thought it was quite rude that you asked her boyfriend; as really that is none of your business and you should keep out of that.
if it really bothers you that much then talk to her; but if it was my friend and they told me they asked my boyfriend some of our private business, especially about sex lives then i'd be pretty mad. :)
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (6 November 2010):
 I can understand you're upset about it, but I think you should forget it. It's something quite personal and she might feel under pressure or that she's being judged. You may be friends, but there are still some things that are private to her. At a sleepover with other girls, she probably wanted to sound experienced as if it's 'cool.' There's also nothing forcing her to tell the truth. If she doesn't want you to know some stuff then it's her right to do so. So don't make too much of a fuss about it. A lot of people tell lies when it comes to their sex lives!
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Well it's understandable to be upset at the fact she lied to you. Friends are supposed to tell each other everything good or bad. It sounds like she lied to make herself seem older, and more sexually advanced. Which is rather silly, because she doesn't want to make up such elaborate lies otherwise girls will start to label her as a slut.
You can call her out on it, ask her why she feels the need to lie..Point out if she keeps up these lies, rumors will be spread about her, thus tarnishing her reputation. Then if she continues to be a pathological liar, then I would drop her as a friend because she's not a very good influence on you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): If you are good friends with her, you might want to say something. She's going to get the reputation as a slut if she keeps saying thingsnlike that. A person of quality doesn't talk about what they did. It also hurts your male friend's reputation Not all guys want to be thought of as male sluts.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (5 November 2010):
 Edit: I didn't realize you were in the 13-15 age range. If you're worried that your friend has been coerced into sexual acts she's not ready for at her age, you are a very good friend to worry. You might want to ask her about it in ways that pick on her possible insecurities, such as asking if she's doing these sexual acts in order to feel appreciated and accepted. If you can get her to admit it, you might succeed in convincing her to wait until she's older, at least begin practicing safer sex.
However, if you ARE just curious about her sex life out of competition, then it's really not your business. You should be thinking about Pokemon and schoolwork! ;)
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (5 November 2010):
 I think she's telling the truth. I mean think about it, of course the guy would deny it. You might be friends, but you and him don't have sleepovers. If he'd tell anyone it wouldn't be another girl, it would be his guy friends.
Why not just trust your friend and what she says? What's it to you anyway? If thats what happened, are you upset at her? Or do you really think she is only lying? Why would she lie?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2010):
 I would talk to her. Not only can she get a really bad rep around school for something she actually didn't do.
Also tell her there really is no rush to do all those things.
I think you are being a good friend, but she may not like hearing it, so be warned.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2010): Why are you so interested in your friends sex life?
Yeah, she could have lied, teenagers often lie about things like that.
She probably thought she'd sound more grown up, telling people she'd done these things, that's IF she was lying of course.
I'd just drop it if i were you, it's her business.
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