A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ive posted quite a few questions about this guy...well things flourished between us and we are now a couple. He is about 6 years older than me and has two kids and an ex wife. He also works with me. I never thought we would see each other out side of work..let alone go on dates and kiss etc. Well my best friend opposes of our relationship. She finally just told me to be careful because she had an off feeling about him...which i respect because he has had troubled life...she also made me promise not to have sex with him, ever. I understand how she would not want me to have sex because of religious standards that surround us, and that i get attached to men i sleep with. Well he and i are very close, i was planning on moving in the next few weeks with my bestfriend, my boyfriend was planning on moving a few months after that and get settled close to me so we could see eachother. My bestfriend knew this...shes been picking fights about everything lately and making a ton of rules for our apartment. Now shes not sure if she wants to move out with me because we keep fighting. Mainly its over my boyfriend because she doesnt like the fact were together. She had liked him first according to her even though she told me she wouldnt date him because of his past and kids, but now its like i stole him from her and thats where our main fights are coming from. I also feel like she wont let our relationship go any furthur because shes making me keep all kinds of promises and rules so ill never be able to see him...i feel like im 10 again but this just isnt fair. Am i really in the wrong here? What should i do??
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female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Time to part ways and live your own life. Find another new room mate . She is too intrusive and have gone overboard.
A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Don't move in with this friend.
Who does she think she is laying down all the rules for a jointly shared abode? You have to compromise on things when living with another, but if you want to be bossed around just stay in your parents house, ... at least they have some right to impose rules on you - this friend is out of line imo.
I also think she is plain and simple ugly old jealous wether she want to admit to it or not and is doing all of this to try to break you guys up.
That friend needs to pull her head in, get honest with herself and you, or get discarded in the scrap pile.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Listen, your friend knows more about you than probably anyone else in the world. She knows your weaknesses, she's heard your confidences, and she probably saw something in this guy that is not a good idea. She also knows you might be emotionally impulsive.
It's not right for her to be putting rules on you or picking fights with you, so some of this might be her fear of losing YOU to this guy, so you may want to reassure her that she will always be your best friend.
In the meantime, this guy does sound like a heck of a lot of baggage. The "troubled life" is an unsettling claim. You cannot fix or change this guy, ever.
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A
male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (22 April 2010):
 What is his past?
That is very important to answer this...
and be honest.
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A
female
reader, msjuicy +, writes (22 April 2010):
 she might protecting you and don't want you to be like her or she might be jealous or something else so go with ur heart honey and choose what's best for you if u have on ur mind to make a decision between your boyf and your friend you have to think really hard boo
I wish you find the best way and won't be regret lately
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (22 April 2010):
 Stop making promises. She's not your keeper and isn't a parent to control your life. The rules should be simple. You choose what's best for you, she chooses what's best for her, if you need someone to confide in, then you can go to the other person. That's it, and that's how it should work.
It's okay to view one's opinion, but to control their actions based on that opinion is wrong. Tell her that he is your boyfriend, therefore there is nothing to argue about. When she has a boyfriend, she'll be able to make decisions that are best for her and their relationship.
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A
female
reader, youngandrestless  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 its hard to tell if she's jealous or just being over protective. it sounds like she doesnt want you to get attached to this guy and get hurt, wich makes sense. but she needs to realize that you are a grown woman and can make your own choices and mistakes. she has no right to tell you what to do or not to do. she can give her advice but its up to you if your going to follow it or not. i wouldnt advice moving in with her, not just for the reason that she doesnt approve of your boyfriend, but because she seems to want to mother you. many times friends move in together and end up breaking up. whether or not you stay with your boyfriend is not her concern and she should not be forcing you to do her will. you have to decide if you are going to stay with your boyfriend or your best friend. either way one of these people is not going to be happy with you.
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