A
female
age
30-35,
*isasterpiece
writes:I was seeing this guy for a few months and I really really liked him but all of a sudden things weren't going too well in his life, he quit college (where we met) and told me he didn't want to see me anymore because he wasn't ready for a relationship and it the usual clique quote 'its not you its me' I was devasted and to be honest, i still am, I miss him so much and want to be more than friends... To get to the point, the last few days Ive seen a lot of him, we seen each other at a nightclub and we were talking the whole night.. he kissed my cheek and kept hugging me, which confused me and made me want him back so badly. His best mate was also there and he was hugging me and kinda flirting, I looked over at my 'ex' and he was staring at the ground and looked a bit sad... it gave me the impression he was jealous. I just dont know what to do, I might be wrong but I really would do anything to be with him, I hate feeling like he misses me, I want him back...
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 I agree with Lexie88. You know,under some aspects life is really simple.... "Why does not he call me" "Why doesn't he commit " "Why does not he comes back to me " and so on. the answer is always the same - because he does not want to. Or at least he does not want it enough. When people really want to do something,they'll do it, against all odds and difficulties - unless they are physically restrained like being in jail or in hospital.
Of course we all find explanation like "he won't do x or y because he is shy, or he had childhood traumas, or intimacy issues etc,etc,; but in practice it boils down to the same thing,- his shyness or traumas or issues makeReR him not want to do x or y.Remember :
Actions speak louder than words. And than sad looks.
A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 I can see where Lexie is coming from, and I usually feel the same way. But in this case, the guy quitting college and looking sad and breaking up with you sounds like he could be going through depression. You can't save him from it. If he wants to be with you, he would be, as Lexie said. But he could have lost his zeal for life itself and wants to isolate from the world, including you.
My advice would be to back off him. Treat him as a platonic friend, and feel free to date his friends and other people. Above all else, do not go out of your way to make contact with him. He probably did you a favor by leaving you, because you now know how he deals with hardships, and isolating and dropping everything you care about isn't healthy.
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A
female
reader, Lexie88  +, writes (22 April 2010):
 To be honest here, I don't think he misses you to the point of wanting to be with you again. He's broken it off and that's that. The whole hugging you and kissing on the cheek doesn't mean much. He was probably trying to make himself feel better about breaking up with you.
If you live by one rule about men and one rule only let it be: If he wants me, he will be with me.
There's nothing more to it. Women always analyse things, read into actions and words too much, give things meaning which don't mean anything...this only brings confusion and stops you from getting on with life.
If he really missed you, and realized he'd made a mistake before, he would have told you by now. He would have taken action. Trust me on that one.
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