A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi i have a question... the situation is my friend gets mad when i go to the strip club... im a virgin but i still go for lap dances... there's strippers that would have sex with me though or at least a bJ and some werent even going to charge.. theres one at this club i like and she likes me, she said she would be my girl if i wanted one... i dont have a problem with having a stripper for a gf i just never had a gf so im just nervous about that..so back to my friend she gets pissed if i tell her i was at a strip club she even told me i shouldnt go and that she would be my stripper... i dont get it because shes in love with this guy thats not me... and she never has time for me when im in town.. but when im away we talk and she'll tell me things.. so what am i to make of this..
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female
reader, Accountable  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 It sounds like she's just looking out for you, and doesnt want you to get hurt... I am not saying strippers can never be in relationships, but it does sound like this one is just grooming you, as YouWish explained well. You are her client. She has any number of other similar clients. I think your friend is scared that you are hoping for too much from this stripper, and will end up getting hurt and withdrawing for relationships altogether - whether she has romantic interest in you or not is an entirely separate point, it seems to me she just wants you to be happy!
A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Simple, tell your friend only your girlfriend can tell you not to go to the strip clubs. If she's willing to be your girlfriend then you will have no choice but to listen to her.
Now, if she just wants a little fun on the side.... then tell her you need her to strip for you as often as you go to the strip clubs. :-)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2010): Dude... you are "Fallback Guy". Wherever there is a needy girl who can't stand to be alone, you will be there. Wherever there is a girl who is self centered and wants to string guys along like puppy dogs, you will be there.
If things go bad with her guy, she wants another guy around to fall back on. You will barely get past friend mode, perhaps an occasional peck on the cheek, but that is it. She wants to make sure you are free for her and at her beck and call.
Oh, yeah and what the other girls said was spot on. Strippers sell themselves to their clients for money. They will tell you anything for money, or the prospect of money.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (18 June 2010):
 You are a virgin who goes to strip clubs and lap dances to look for love? I don't know how to tell you this, but that's not love. That's services rendered for payment. That will never take the place of a good loving relationship.
The stripper there who is saying that she'll be your girl - you have to wonder how many other customers she says that to. A strip club is just one step away from prostitution, and the way she's grooming you is the way prostitutes groom their regulars - by making you feel special.
Of course your lady friend isn't happy about it. She cares about YOU and knows that whatever phobias you have about relationships will only be made worse when the stripping/exotic dancing industry is through with you.
There is no EASY way to love. There are no shortcuts. You are running towards a mirage that only promises relief and happiness, but before you know it, you'll be broke and drinking the sand. Your heart will be even emptier than before.
Get out of the strip clubs and find someone who will love YOU, not your wallet. Don't you know that drug dealers hook their addicts by offering free samples? That's what those strippers are doing by offering you "free" services. Nothing is free in this world.
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A
female
reader, baybee-x-sparkii +, writes (18 June 2010):
 Hey :)
Looks like your friend here cares more than you both realise. Maybe for your feelings or maybe for you as a person. As I'm not this girl I couldn't enlighten you on that one. And being with a stripper.... I wouldn't say that's a bright move but hey, that's love for you. If you think she is right for you then go for it, don't worry about nervousness, she probably will be as nervous as you the first time anything happens.
And if the friend can't accept you going to clubs you may need to have a word- you don't want whatever the issue is to get in the way of your friendship :)
Good luck :)
SB :) x
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A
female
reader, irishgirlm  +, writes (18 June 2010):
 She likes you duh!:) she may like someone else but when it comes to it she doesn't want anyone else to have u, maybe she like he attention but I bet she wants u
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