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anonymous
writes: I'm 14. I have a 19 year old boyfriend but I look like I'm 17 or 18. He knows I'm 14. I've known him for a year. My parents found out, now we can never see each other. Do you think I should let him go or try to make it work? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2005): i am going through a similar thing my boyfriend is 17 and im 14! i haven't told my parents about him though because i know they would go mad at me! i have another problem too- he says he loves me and i know i love him but he was flirting with this girl in front of me- a girl his own age! When me and my friend left the park because we had to go home he rang me and she was making 'sex noises'. i hung up but he kept ringing me and said he didn't know if he wanted to be with me, while the girl was going mad at me because i said she didn't seem depressed to me! He rang me again about an hour or 2 later and i asked him what his problem was- he said that it wasn't him saying that he didn't know...so i asked him who it was and he said just a guy and i told him it sounded like him and he got mad and said yead SOUNDED LIKE! n then he said i don't trust him! he told me there was no point in his life without me- no point he said, i asked him what he meant and he said-no point in family, college or life anymore now! i feel so bad so i asked him if he wanted to get back together because i could tell he was genuinely upset-he said he would talk to me on msn...that was 3 hours ago and he hasn't been online or rang! I am worried he's done something stupid but i think his best friend would have told me i hope! i love him and want him but i cant get hold of him! he made me walk 2 miles today and sneak out of my house just to see him and i did! i just love him-but can i forgive him? As for your parents i honestly can't judge what you should do with out knowing how they react oin different situations-
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reader, becky05 +, writes (5 July 2005):
Your parents are worried about you. Ask if they would mind meeting this boy and seeing what hes like, maybe he could come round for dinner a few nights, they might even like him! Ask them to give him one chance and see where you get from there.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2005): Young lady, it is a crime in most states for a man of 19 to have any kind of sexual relations( that includes petting) with a 14 year old. 5 years may be nothing when you are in your late twenties, or thirties, but it all the time in the world difference when you are only 14 ! My God, girl, what could he possible have to talk to you about? You don't know much of anything about life, yet. Unless he is retarded, I can't see what he could possibly see in you other than your physical attributes, and your willingness to engage in sexual behavior with him, because you are too young to have learned self control. If he actually relates to you at 14, look around him, and ask yourself why he isn't going out with 18 and 19 year old women? They certainly aren't " Over the hill", and most men are attracted to his age group of women long into their thirties. What is wrong with him? This is a pedophile in the making. I just was involved in a case to terminate the parental rights of a man who got a 14 year old girl pregnant, while his 10 and 5 year old daughter played in the living room ! He was convicted of a felony, and is serving 14 years in prison. Get away from this guy, if only for his own sake.phv
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reader, Cutie_Mish +, writes (15 June 2005):
if you like him enough to go through the hassle then make it work! tell your parents that you're growin up and that you'd like to live your own life.my dad didn't want me to see my boyfriend because he was english!!! (i'm chinese) what!? but i knew secretly it was because he was 3years older then me! my dad kept sayin "when you gona chuck him". really hurtful coz i really liked him so he grew onto the fact that we really did like each other coz i kept going against what he said! but we split, not because we fell out of love or anything but because i wanted to "have more fun" before i got into a serious relationship. theres something for you to think about! good luck xXx
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (15 June 2005):
 If you really like each other you should make it work but you need to listen to your parents too!! they are trying to protect you because you are only a teenager and he is an adult! If he doesnt care about your age and he wants to make it work you should try it, but you will be hurting your parents if you disobey them! Perhaps you should do what is best for both! Only you know the answer
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 5 years isnt that big an age difference, but thinking ahead he is 19 so he is probably looking for a more adult relationship... you are 2 years off the age for consent to sexual intercourse, so this needs to be beared in mind. Your parents are probly telling you that you cant see him for that same reason. You are only young and have a long time of relationships ahead of you. I guess it comes down to how much you have in common, what sort of things you like doing together, and if you can really see the two of you together in 2 years time ? if you think that hes going to want a sexual relationship before you are ready then maybe you should move on, you are very young. If he is prepared to wait until you are 16 then maybe you could remain friends and see what evolves. Its up to you if you think you remain close without breaking the law (ie him having sexual relations with you) then maybe you can work this out. Take some time out to reflect... maybe spend some time on your own and see how you feel in a couple of months time. If you two are meant to be together, then this shouldnt make a difference. Find out what he expects from the relationship and see if you both want the same things. but take it one step at a time, there is no rush. But do think carefully if you do continue to see him, as your parents could end up very hurt as well. they are trying to protect you, so give them some respect and understand why they are being like this and in time if things are meant to work out they will do.
Take care
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