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anonymous
writes: This is more of a situation problem than a relationship. I'm a teen and there is this guy that I'm best friends with that I love...not in love, I just love who he is. He has amazing friends and a great life, from my point of view. But now he feels the need to start drinking and making other bad decisions. Everyone's been talking to him about it and he takes their advice, but if I talk to him he gets all ticked off. So I have given up talking to him about that for now... So what do I do now? Do I talk to him? What do I say? Please help, I don't want to lose him.
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reader, Blunt +, writes (15 June 2005):
All you can do is try to talk to him and let him know how you really feel. If he decides he needs help he knows how to find you. You cant change a person or help them unless they really want it.
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reader, Wendyg  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 If you are that good a freinds then talking to him about it shouldnt be a problem. I think what you need to find out first though is there a reason for why he suddenly wants to start drinking and doing other things ? try and talk to him and let him know that you will always be there for as good freinds are and see if you can get him to open up a bit. It may look to you on the outside that everything in the garden is rosy, but he may have problems that he hasnt told anyone about... maybe keep it pretty relaxed and maybe start by saying things like oh i dont think i could ever turn to drink that type thing... just say things like you hear such things about people and what it does to them, then ask his view point on it... he might get all hufty in whcih case leave it for that time and wait tilll later on. Then ask him if he is okay, tell him that as a friend your concerned that there is something wrong and you would like to help, but do keep it relaxed so that he doesnt think you are interfering, but do get close enough to let him know that he can count on you as a freind and that he can talk to about thigns, and hopefully he will slowly open up. this may take time, but so long as he knows you are not going to dessert him at the first sign of trouble he will hopefully in the end be able to talk openly to you about it. It could also be a phase that he is going through, so see if you can hang on in there and be there as a freind and see if you can see if he is changing and why you think he might be.... sooner or later the situation will calm and then you may be able to get to the route of whats going on... but just let him know that you care and that you will always be there for him.
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