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writes: I have a small dilemma... I am a semi popular 15-year old guy in a small school where everybody is preppy. I have a crush on one of my best friend's sister, who is 13 years old. Everyone makes a big deal about the age difference, but we both really like each other. Now I'm growing a little bit above average for my age, but she hasn't started menstruation yet. Is the age difference and maturity level too much, because I don't want to jump into anything that she isn't ready for.
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reader, kt  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 well since your are the boy that is older one, its not that much of a difference. boys mature later than girls, so really you are about the same. but just remember that she is still only 13 so dont push her in too anything she doesn't want to do. just make sure that you are both sure that you want to go through with this. im sure you will be happy together.good luck!!
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (15 June 2005):
 If you both feel that you can make it work you should try it. You shouldnt care what anybody else says if you really like each other! She may not like things that people your age do, as she is younger. As a girl of 15, I would know what she would like... Take her to the cinema, go for walks, go to the park. do things that both of you feel happy doing together!! Don't take any notice of everyone who says its a problem, if you like them very much let them know that you are being serious about this girl.Good Luck ;)
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (15 June 2005):
 You sound like a lovely and thoughtful young man, and those traits are going to have a far greater effect on your budding relationship than your difference in years.
The trick to getting people off your back about this, is to not allow yourself to be put on the defensive about her. If anyone mentions her to you in a baiting kind of way, you can smile and say "Yeah, she's a great girl. I like her." Then change the subject.
It does seem terrifically hard to disregard the opinions of your peers when you're still in school, but it's a skill that will serve you well in adulthood, so you might as well cultivate it now.
As to the physical differences between you, she's probably just about to start puberty anyway, so in a matter of months or a year (at most), she'll catch up with you. After that, as long as you respect that she doesn't have quite the emotional development that you have, you should be fine.
I'd suggest that you keep your dating (should you decide to) light for a while. Refrain from being too exclusive with each other, so that you can both explore your romantic options.
And I know that I don't need to tell you that sex should be strictly Off Limits, however tempting the possibility. At 13 (or 14, or even 15), she doesn't have the life experience to give informed consent for sex. She's very vulnerable and likely never to have had a boy interested in her before, so she may tend to go overboard in her emotions. This is where you make a conscious decision NOT to take advantage of her inexperience.
To reiterate: if you both like each other, ignore the remarks of your friends and have some lightweight fun together.
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