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anonymous
writes: I have a slight kinda issue. I am a virgin and will be getting married and losing my virginity to a girl who's not a virgin. I feel like it'll be awkward for me a lot more than for her. She hasn't had sex in years now, but I still feel I'll be competing against the memories of her old experiences. I also feel like I'll be too clumsy or too awkward and I want it not to be a let down for her. Of course I anticipate in the long run becoming very comfortable with each other physically, but I need some advice for the first time.
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female
reader, charly-kins  +, writes (18 March 2009):
I am too in the same boat as you but in the oposite way though. My long term boyfriend is also a virgin and i am not. Believe me she will be as nervous as you.
All you need to trust is both of you are together for a reason. Love. Course its a big step, but make it special. just because shes not a virgin doesnt mean she doesnt want it to be like the first time.
Set the scene candle light romantic music, make it as special as her a su want it for you. She obv loves you or you wunt be gettin married, she wont judge you! and you shouldnt judge her on the fact that shes not a virgin. practice makes perfect;)
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reader, pops +, writes (18 June 2005):
Sit down with your fiance and have a long talk about sex. You are afraid of what you don't know. The rules have to be that you will answer every question she asks truthfully, as will she of your questions, and that no question is inappropriate. Then discuss your virginity, her lack thereof, ask her how she lost her virginity and why she decided to lose it. Ask her what she likes done to her, and what she like to do to her lover. Ask about foreplay, manual stiumation, fingers on, and around he clitorus, in her vagina, around her anus, in her anus, then ask the same questions about your tongue, your penis, etc. Most of the answers will be," I don't know". Then ask about fantasies, and what she would like to try with you, and what she is not interested in. BDSM, pain, golden showers, blindfolds, restraints, real and pretend, dress up and role playing, multiple partners, toys, toys with regular sex. Check out some videos on sex at the local adult book store, and watch them with her. Contact the Sinclair Institute and buy their Better Sex video series. They are instructional, and very good. You will learn from them, both techniques, and a positive attitude both parties must have if your sex life is going to be a success. Expect to fail once in awhile. I hope your fiance is a teacher. Years ago, Dean Martin had a one liner on his variety show that somehow got past the censors. He was surrounded by his Golden Girls, and said, I LOVE teachers, because when I do it wrong, they make me do it again. learn from that. But read the books, watch the videos, and ask questions of your lover. Make sure she takes control sometimes, so that she understands that sex is a participatory sport. She should initiate sex as often as you do. Some women object to swallowing a man's ejaculate because of the taste, which can be bitter. Most of this relates to the fact that men eat and drink bitter drinks such as coffee. You can change the taste of your cum by ditching the coffee, and eating fruits, and sweets with cinamon or vanilla. Within hours, your cum will share the flavor of these foods. She can also suck on a candy while giving you a blow job, and that will flavor the cum, or she can coat your penis with chocolate, or some other favorite flavored fruit preserve, and that will also change the flavor. Sex is Adult fun.If you aren't laughing you are probably doing something wrong. Have fun. Taste her cum and give her a taste. Accept a taste of your own cum from her when offered, to see how it tastes. There is nothing in cum that is harmful. Its mostly water, proteins, and amino acids. It won't kill you. Lick your forearm and you will find that the taste of your sweat is fairly the same as the taste of your cum. Take a bath or shower together before getting down to sex. Clean bodies will be welcome by each of you. And wiping each other off is a great part of foreplay. Let her linger around your penis and testicles. You should linger around he breasts, and her vagina. Oral sex is an indispensible part of foreplay, so put a lot of effort into learning what pleasures her. Talk to her about what feels good when she pleasures you. Ask her to talk to you about how she is feeling when you pleasure her. After you learn what works with your hands, fingers, nose, elbows, toes and feet, you will be ready to learn with your penis. I am serious. Love making should not be hurried, unless you both are in tune with each other to the extent that you can both enjoy a " quickie". pops
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (14 June 2005):
 Well for your first time make her feel wanted, kiss her all over. Making your way from the top of her body down to her toes. Feel her and lick her. And do what you fell confortable with! She may even take over and your bit easier!! After the first time it gets much easier and more exciting. Trust me a girl likes to be kissed and touched!!
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reader, Your big sis +, writes (10 June 2005):
 Are you kidding? Most women love men who don't have experience! That means we get to mold you into a hot loving machine especially programmed to our sexual preferences. You will be taught how to make perfect love to your wife by your wife. Do you know how great this is? It means you will not have to play guessing games with your sexual technique in the bedroom. Most men try different techniques and different positions to try and please their women. The first time is always the awkward time because the men think what worked with their former girlfriends is going to work with the new one.
But you, my good sir, you will not have that problem. If she knows you are a virgin, she will certainly understand. Ask her to guide you to do the things that please her. And pay attention, she will be teaching you how to please her. Very valuable information! I was lucky too. My husband didn't have much experience either and I felt so lucky to find him. I taught him how to please me. And I still find him very hot in the bedroom even after 7 years. So don't worry...I'm sure your fiancee feels the same also.
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (10 June 2005):
 Don't worry too much. Your fiancee must love you (she IS planning on marrying you, right?), so she'll understand. Besides, even those of us who aren't exactly virginal can remember what our first time was like. Your fiancee will, too, and she'll probably be hoping that *you're* not too disappointed in her.
Presuming that you've discussed this with her, she's not going to expect fireworks and hours porn-video-quality action... and that's perfectly OK. Maybe she loves you and isn't thinking specifically about sex.
You have years - decades! - to get it right. Practice makes perfect, you know... Whatever you do, don't feel like you're being compared to other men. If you do, it'll haunt you and you'll never relax. Enjoy the fact that you're now the ONLY man she wants!
So don't sweat it. Be tender, take your time, have a sense of humour about things, don't expect too much and you'll enjoy it wonderfully. And I'm sure she will too, just knowing that she was able to share that special moment with you.
Have fun...
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