A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:okay, so i am engaged to a wonderful guy. We have been together for almost 4 years, and engaged for a little over a year. We are not only soulmates, but we are also best friends. He has been getting closer to this guy, and they are becoming pretty good friends. Well, i liked his friend at first, but now im starting not to. Here is what happened. Last week, my fiance was bored, and i didnt feel like going anywhere, so he said he was gonna go over his buddys house to hang out. I tried calling him shortly after to make sure he got there okay. He wouldnt answer. Finally, i texted him and said "you went out to a bar or club, didnt u?" and he said "yes.." i asked him why he lied to me, and he said because he knew i would get upset. Well as the next few days went on, i found out that he went to more than one bar, and they also went to a few clubs downtown. Am i supposed to be hurt over this?? Because i am. I am feeling so disrespected. He has never done anything like this before. Especially lie to me. I tried talking to him about it, and he said i better not even try to get in between their friendship. he said if i do, he will leave me. He also said that he can go anywhere he wants to go. What do i do?! SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADViCE! Thank you....
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (4 August 2010):
You're not going to be able to control where he goes out and who he is with when you're married. Ask him why he lied to you. If he had told the truth, would you have tried to stop him? If so, why? Are you insecure? Or is he untrustworthy? Also, not to put a fine point to it, but why was he biting back about this other friendship? Who is this friend? Is he someone who is untrustworthy?
A
female
reader, jodie-alice-x +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Be completely honest and upfront with your fiance. You say your like best friends so he will at least sit down and listen to you. Tell him how hurt you were at not where he went but the way he lied - this will make him feel guilty. Tell him yes, he can go wherever he likes, but there's no need to lie about it unless he's hiding something which will make him think how you felt realistically when he lied. But all in all, you shouldn't be so fussed about your man going out and having sometime with a guy friend, he needs a social life other than you sometimes and this new friend is obviously making him pretty happy - so just be happy that your fiance is happy.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (4 August 2010):
 Is ur fiance not allowed to a bar or club with friends? Before my husband and i were married I would let him as long as i knew about it. U cant control where he goes and who hes friends with..ur going to have to learn to accept his friends and try to get along with them if u want to marry him. I would be a lil mad he lied but at least he admitted it when u asked, he couldve not told u all together. Then u find out everything later. Talk to him tell him ur not comfy with him going to clubs for whatever reason or go with him next time. Make an effort to get to know his friend u might change ur opinion
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