A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am 18 years old and been with my fiancé for nearly 2 years everything was great. I have always wanted kids as u come from a very big family. In april 2010 we had spoke about having a baby and he agreed to doing so. So the following weekend i went and got my coil out untill the happiness turned to sadness and he suddenly decided after begging me to get the coul out that he wasnt ready for a baby. But august 2010 I fell pregnant but sadly lost the baby due to an ectopic pregnancy causing me and my man a great deal of heartache and saddness. At first he ws alright with the fact that I was pregnant and started comin round to the fact of us becoming parents but after I lost the baby he said to me that when I was ready he would be to try for another baby. I had the jag thing to help get rid of the ectopic and was told to wait atleast 3 months before trying again so we agreed that in November we would try. November came and gone and in December I missed ovulation :( now in January I have a few days until I ovulate and I say to him that I should really start taking folic acid and he goes in a massive huff. We had a very big argument. Then he gives me an ultimatum and said if I want one I can go and sleep with someone else! That has now been 4 or 5 times he has chopped and changed his mind saying that he only said it to keep me happy but then breaks my heart by changing over and over again! I love him dearly! I really don't know what to do should I stay it leave him?? Please somebody give me an answer x
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female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1  +, writes (9 January 2011):
I agree with the others. Just wait. You do not see now but in eight years or so you will be thanking God that you waited. Definitely go to school, get your masters etc., have money then have a child. Do not rush. Please please do not rush.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): I think you should wait to have a baby until your married. Your really young still. Just get married and enjoy married life for a couple of yours and then try for a baby. Babies are cute but they are alot of responsibility. Also your fiance is not ready and if u keep pressuring him u could loose him. U may find yourself pregnant and a single mom if u force things.As much as u want a baby u wont want one if your raising it single. Just chill out. Your man wants a baby eventually but just not now.Enjoy your youth and married life and your baby will come in good time.At 18 u shouldnt have even been engaged much less having a baby. To young.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): I am sorry to say but you will be lucky if he stays around after you do have a baby with him. He's too young or just lacks the maturity to make such a commitment and maybe thats why no marriage has happened,though you've been engaged so long. Theres no harm in waiting for a few years until he can provide for a family. Why the rush? Go to university and get a skill so you can provide for yourself. I would not depend on him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): At 18 years old, why would you want to get pregnant? You are not married...yet! Slow down and enjoy your youth, from the age of 18 to 25 can be the best years of your life.
I think ask yourself the following questions;
Do you love him?
Why do you really want a child at this time in your life?
What is wrong with waiting to start a family?
Good luck and be patient
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A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Lord take a hint, if a person changes they mind like that then its best to leave the issue alone...but while you guys were dating before you got engaged, shouldnt you have dicussed that upfront? Shouldnt you have known from the beginning if this person wants kids like you do? I say don't even entertain the idea if the person is not sure because then you will end up a single parent. But since you two are engaged then maybe you should ask questions like are you afraid to have kids cause of money or stress etc.....ask ask ask.
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