A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I asked my neighbor out for drinks because I was noticing him looking at me and saying hi. I asked him out because he seemed shy and I was becoming impatient plus Xmas and new years were approaching. I didn't know if he was excited about the date since when I saw him the night before he didn't bring it up(I said are we still on, he said yeah, I will meet u there at 7) we drove separately there and he met me outside . So we went out the wednesday before new year. it went well. We laughed, talked for over 2 hrs, have same type of jobs. He gave me a hug and kiss on cheek while driving home he flashed his highbeams at me which was cute . We didn't plan anything further . We've seen eachother a few times since which we wave and /or say hi. We haven't had an opportunity to talk outside. It's been 10 days and no word, text or call . I'm wondering if he hasn't asked me out b/c of $$-he's in grad school plus he was out of work for over 1yr and only started working since aug. I really like this guy. Need advice!!
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hasn't called, shy, text Reply to this Question
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male
reader, als77  +, writes (9 January 2011):
You took the initiative because you wondered if he was shy, and now you expect him to overcome his shyness and take the next move? :) Money can of course be an issue, but I guess it is more likely to be his shyness or lack of interest. I have had my head "bitten off," because I help up the door for my lady, and some ladies will bite your head of if you don't... :) I guess dating is getting harder since there are so many secret "laws". If you are interested in him, then I would advise you to take the next move as well (shyness is not cured during some days!). But considering that I am single, you should maybe not listen to me? :)
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (9 January 2011):
 I agree with the other posters here. For whatever reason, the date may not have been as good for him as it was for you. If a guy is interested in a second date, believe me, he'll call.
The one exception to this is that if he is extremely shy or "virginal" he may lack confidence. Since you initiated the date, he may think you are pursuing him and is waiting for your response. I think this is doubtful though.
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 January 2011):
 A guy has 3-5 days after a date to call, text, email, contact you in any shape or form in he was interested and would like to go on a second date. How do I know this? It's a common dating rule that has been confirmed by men, self help dating guides, and even women use this.
Let's see he's at 10 days? I don't care if he just started working or is in grad school, or you think he's low on $...excuses, excuses..if he was interested in you he would have taken 5 minutes out of his day to text you and tell you he had a great time and would like to do it again soon.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (9 January 2011):
If you see him again be respectful and say hello, smile and keep it moving. He does not seem interested unfortunately. Did you come on too strong? That seems like an idea because you were too impatient to wait for him to ask you out, and then you asked again to confirm. Some men do not like a woman that comes on too strong. It is better to have the man do the majurity of the work that way you do not have to question it. Being impatient is one thing, but showing you are impatient is a WHOLE
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2011): Not interested: you do the asking out, the reminding, and pay your portion of the tab, and you find yourself making excuses for him
Interested: he asks you out, pays the tab, and follows up within a couple of days to ask you out again or spend time with you
Follow those basics. It's universal.
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A
female
reader, lija30 +, writes (9 January 2011):
 Do not push your self on this man, if he wants to contact you he will. Maybe he didnt like what happened when you guys went out did you ever think about that? But you and I both know if a man hasn't called or text in about ten days after a date then it is pretty much done. Maybe he realized after talking to you he wasn't ready to date anyone. Or if he has money issue and can't afford to wine and dine you then that could be it. Whatever it is let it go, if he wants to see or talk to you he will let you know. Women have problem with letting a man be a man, let him do the chasing not you.
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