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male
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anonymous
writes: I have been with my boyfirend for 2 years. After about a year we got so close and we even talked about marriage. I thought that this is what I wanted. About a year ago he moved away and I supported it because I knew it would be a great opportunity for him. From this however we grew apart. He is always writing me emails planning our children and house and life together, and I feel guilty because I don't feel that anymore. I am only 20...I am not ready for this. I don't know how to tell him. I got this awesome opportunity to go away to another country for 2 months and he told me that he didn't want me to go because he would miss me too much (because there would be no email and no phone...and I would be leaving as soon as he moved back to where I live). This upsets me because I think that I am too young to hold back opportunities for a boyfriend. Am I being selfish? I cant stand the idea of breaking his heart, however...this just doesn't seem fair to me. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, fairyangel  +, writes (4 December 2005):
 Well, sunshine, you said it yourself... you are not ready for this... now I am a great believer in following your gut instinct... it never fails. You go and do what you have to do, take that awesome opportunity, and have a totally awesome time, there's lots of time for the serious stuff much later in life. You have fun now, be safe, take care and most of all, be happy.
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female
reader, Taija +, writes (4 December 2005):
 hi there
i think you should do what you think is right. to me its sounds like he is getting abit to attached and it sounds like it is scaring you. you are not being selfish you are only 20 you have so much life to live you can do the family and house thing in ten years or so. do what you think is right if he does care about you then he should understand how you feel and what you want to do. so i think instead of either of you suffering just suggest to him that its too early in life to be thinking really far ahead and that maybe you guys could still be friends you are not selfish of course not you are just trying to make your life livable for you and that is the main thing. do what feels right sweetie and good luck many positive things may come out of this. good luck :-D
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A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (4 December 2005):
 You can fall in and out of love many times in your life. But you dont want to sit and wait around for him while you pass up opportunities such as this. You can never be selfish concerning your own life. 'You' are all you ever truely have.
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