A
female
age
30-35,
*onfused8
writes:I know i need to split up with my boyfriend, he is constantly out with his friends even though he has no job. We have a child together and when he is out im stuck in the house myself with no one to speak to, it has gotten so bad that it has driven me into a state of depression. Everytime he goes out I find myself in floods of tears and i feel really clingy and cant explain it. I know how i would normally end it with someone by cutting them out my life and going out with friends. My problem is that I can do neither. I dont know what to do?I have ended the relationship before but everytime I drop off my child my feelings come flooding back and i cant get over him.
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female
reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 Listen to the voice inside, you know what you need to do. As for dropping your daughter off, why is this, why can't he pick her up? Better still arrange for him to visit her somewhere else, either your mother's or his mothers.
Stop being his door mat, start being the sort of woman you would hope your daughter will be, independant, strong, goal orientated, eyes fixed firmly on the future.
If you are depressed try counselling, see if there are any services available for you in your area, forge a new life, depending on the age of your daughter join a playgroup or mother's group. Your local council offices should be able to tell you what is available to you, sometimes doctor's surgeries have this information as well.
Make a plan about how to achieve what you would like in the next twelve months, break it down to big goals and little goals, the little goals could be as simple as 'go to playgroup every MOnday' or even "visit gran every second Saturday", even if you need to change it half way through it will at least give you some direction while you get your life back in order.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, BondGirl72  +, writes (29 July 2012):
 You are not feeling "clingy". You are feeling what any normal woman would feel concerning the man she loves. You love him and want to be with him. The problem is...he has decided otherwise.
It is ok for feelings to flood back, but you must start getting on with your life. Many of us have been here, so we know what you are going through. If you can't do this for yourself, do it for your child. Your child needs strong people in his/her life to set an example of how to live and love properly. Your boyfrined does neither.
At some point you have to realize that being alone without him is better than seeing him not working and going out with his friends to boot. If nothing else, he should be spending the time that he goes out with his child.
No offense, but you deserve better and so does your child. Sometimes it is better to be by yourself and lonely than with someone and lonely.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2012): "His actions indicate he doesn't care. What should I do?"
Believe his actions.
"I have ended the relationship before but everytime I drop off my child my feelings come flooding back and i cant get over him."
Fine example you're setting for your little girl so early in life, mother spends days crying over and pining over
disrespectful deadbeat sperm depositor who chooses carousing with the boys at expense of daughter's quality of life, emotional well-being and long-term future.
Don't be surprised if you're a grandmother by 35 and daughter spends her days crying over and pining over
disrespectful deadbeat sperm depositor who chooses carousing with the boys at expense of granddaughter's quality of life, emotional well-being and long-term future. That's what she's already learning by watching self-absorbed immature wimpy mother who puts clinging to useless bf ahead of daughter's best interests.
Boy, is one poor unfortunate little girl ever learning to latch on like a barnicle to anything at the other end of a dick and never let go no matter what scumbag does to scrape you off.
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A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous +, writes (28 July 2012):
I would suggest counselling. Even if you have medi cal you can go to the county behavior and mental health centers. You have to be strong. If you cant go out with friends cant they come over to your house? Or you to theirs? Maybe have them accompany you and your daughter to the park and then lunch? No you cant go clubbing but it is getting out. Or perhaps you can go when you drop the bby off at his, when you get off of work. He can take care of the bby for a day or two its his child too. And btw stop paying 4 his stuff. His fam can help him and he can get a job. Hes taking you for a ride. Be strong, dont allow the feelings to come back emerse yourself in your childs life, work and friendships and if you meet someone great but dont go looking for it at this time.
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