A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 20 year old girl. From My Childhood even until now I have really only had a couple male friends and even. Now it's pretty safe to say I don't have any (that are close to me anyway) I remember having crushes on only guys until I was 13 and had a crush on my best girl friend. But even after that it was mostly guys I had crushes on. I've had only 2 boyfriends 1 when I was 15-16, I was friends with for about 2 years and had a crush on for just about as long. He had pressured me to do sexual stuff and after quite a while of saying no because i didn't feel ready I gave in.When he did stuff to me,(fingering, going down on me) It physicly felt good but I was uncomfortable. When he asked me to do stuff to him. there was no pleasure in anyway. I was uncomfertable and it just didn't feel right (i only gave him a hand job the thought of giving him oral grossed me out) I ended it because I just wasnt comfertable around him because of this. My second boyfriend was from last sept to this passed Jan. I cared about him he was a good guy, but I really felt no physical attraction or emotional connection. I really only dated him because ?I felt bad for him, and I was trying to proove to myself I was over someone and can be happy with someone other than this person... that failed horribly because I was board and unhappy with him and wasnt ready to be over this person. This person is one of my best girl friends. I have moved on (aka acceoted I wont ever be with her) but I just dunno what to doI just more and more find myself thinking about girls, wanting to be with a girl. And just less and less interested in uys. but I've bever been with a girl, not even kissed a girl. So I don't want to come out as lesbian, because i'm afraid i will be with a girl and find i don't like it. I've watched porn quite a few times but the only time it turns me on is when it's lesbian porn. I've heard a lot of stories of lesbiansho have never been with a guy but know they don't want to. Can it go the other way around? Can I not be with a girl but know I would like it?I still check out guys and have a physical attraction to them, but it's rare i'll be really into them and usually the emotional attraction is pretty non- existant where as with girls its often a physical attraction aswell as a really strong emotional attraction. I've only told a few close friend I like girls but i've either said I'm bi or pan sexual. only 1 friend(the 2nd best friend i had feelings for) knows that I might be lesbian... but I'm just not sure what I am. Can I be lesbian but still be attracted to guys now an then? I don't know what I really identify as.
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female
reader, NikitaAna  +, writes (23 September 2012):
 Almost same problem,but i don't have crush on girls.It is confusing but you are not alone
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2012): Hi again,Ok, I'm glad to hear you're familiar with the Kinsey Scale. Now, what I'm thinking is: is your best girl friend feeling the same? is she straight? Do you think you can try and tell her how you feel about her? If she's straight then I'd suggest you not to say anything and find someone else, another girl who likes girls and get to know her. What you could also do is try and find a lesbian/bisexual women group to attend. Google "outinschools" and "pflag" you will be able to get more info about support groups/individual support in Canada(if that's where you are) through these sites. Your attendance will be confidential and they will help you sort out your feelings, it'll also be an opportunity for you to socialise with other bi/gay girl/questioning girls. Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI've done the Kinsy scale thing a few times usually landing somewhere between 3 & almost 4. But most recently i got 4.16.
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (29 July 2012):
 You do not have to have sexual experience to know you do or do not want something.
But also it is important to learn who we are and be happy with that in yourself before feeling the need to tell people.
If i was you i wouldnt label myself as any sexuality yet, instead maybe get to know some different kinds of people and have different experiences first.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 July 2012): Hi,
I think that as long as you're unsure, questioning but not sure about labelling yourself like, you're not required to answer now and like on a form just "leave the field blank".
There is no hurry to label yourself, you could be bisexual, gay, pansexual but you'll only have a clear idea after experiencing a number relationships (same-sex or straight).
I am one of those who think that we're on a continuum when it comes to sexual attractions. Maybe having a look at the Kinsey Scale and thinking about where you might be on that scale might help.
My only advice would be live the questions, meet other gay girls take your time getting to know them and see what happens. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, agonyauntsanonymous  +, writes (28 July 2012):
Typically if you are attracted to guys now and then but more attracted to girls, you are still bisexual, but i wouldnt classify your sexuality because you dont know. Just be honest if you start a relationship. Say you are interested in women even though you havent ever been sexually involved. Take things slow and do what you feel. You will figure out your sexuality in time, but dont let it consume you. Just be honest to those u are interested in and be happy.
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