A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm sick and tired Of being treated like a little kid when in fact I'mTurning 20 in less than a weeks time! My family has doubleStandards for everyone in the family whilst my sister was out abroad living in another country doing as she pleased at my age I can't even stay out till 9!! This is so ridiculous I can't even communicate with them anymore so talking is not an option they are ignorant and narrow minded. They think I have to listen and obey them all. I'm moving out for uni in about a months time but even then they expect me home for the weekends. It seriously gets to me now where I want to pack my stuff and leave but my mum has heart conditions and if anything is to happen to her I won't be able to forgive myself and I don't want to be the reason for an family chaos yet I can't live like this forever! I can't even celebrate my 20th birthday as I would want to because I have to be at home for 9 :S So my question is am I being unreasonable and selfish for wanting to live MY life the way I want to! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, FLIPPER66  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 maybe your older sister they felt could handle herself better for some reason. maybe they think you might not fair as well . more fragile or apted to get hurt more easily. at the age of 18 (if in usa) your considered to be a legal adult yet your 20. your going to uni you say in a months time which has probably already past since its just days before september now. there is no law saying you have to go home on your breaks unless you want to. it could also be (if your the youngest) that they may not want to feel their loosing their baby either. as one of the other responders said similiar thing.my suggestion just chill until you get to uni then you can let your hair down some LOL. all i'll say as an older responder here is don't go to wild ,yes have fun but don't get stupid by doing something dumb that you might regret latter on.
A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (29 August 2011):
 Your parents are having a lot of trouble letting go of their daughter. Trust me, they will cope with your absence eventually.
Hope you enjoy the freedom of living away from home when you go to University. No you should not come home each weekend as that will disrupt your study schedule. And it will also prevent you establishing friendships.
Do not be manipulated by your Mom's condition. If you afe 20 then it is unlikely that Mom is much older than 60. She will be fine if she takes her medication. She has a Doctor. you cannot live your life on the basis of "you cannot do anything because something may happen to Mom". That is no way to live.
Tell your parents that other students have suggested that the first four weeks are better spent 7 days a week at University to help new students to settle in.
Then at the end of 4 weeks make sure your weekend schedule is so busy that you have no time to come home. Your parents will get over this.
Send your parents some photos if that will help. But now is your time to grow and learn and prosper.
Go live your life as your sister is doing.
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A
male
reader, HelpyMcHelperson +, writes (29 August 2011):
No you are not, your family is being unreasonable and selfish for expecting you to live that way.
You need to get out of that house, yes your mother has heart conditions but you shouldn't let that keep you afraid to leave. If you were to leave and something were to happen to your mother afterwards it would not be your fault.
If you really can't leave right now you should start being firm with them once you get to university, tell them that you won't be home every weekend and start from there.
I think the time is right for you to get some independence and you would be right to take it.
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