A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex of 5 years almost 6 months ago.. I still love him but it was a bitter ending and he won't speak to me anymore. He always told me no matter what happened he would always be there for me if i needed to talk and that no one would ever stop him talking to me... Problem is, he is now seeing another girl (who is much much older) and he refuses to talk to me.. I really want him back and wish i could get him to at least talk to me.. Its taking over my whole life and I am so depressed over it all. I've just heard that they have gone on vacation together and its killing me inside. I just so want him back :(
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2007): i am currently in a situation where i was the one who contacted my ex of 2 yrs then tried to continue the communication. ok, here's what happened originally. my relationship with him is via online, we became bf and gf just by writing, we were both recovering from divorce back then, so you could say were both vulnerable and still have some hangups from previous relationship. but trying to pick up ourselves from it. following me so far? ok, to continue, he was my first bf after the big "D" and me for him, so like we were there for each other, i guess you could say more for support than love, but dont get me wrong coz i have loved him dearly that time :). anyway, his situation was he was in the service, so he was away all the time, and the communication is only whenever we can, or should i say when he can. so for the 2 yrs time i was loving him, i really didnt know much anything about him, except that i love him. i joined the service also, thats why i was away also, which made keeping in touch impossible. but we still talk whenever we get the chance too. he said he loves me, but i think there came a time in my life that ineed to get more quality time from him instead of just getting few minutes of his time. so i decided to broke up with him. then we both moved on. i heard he got engaged, was supposed to get married this past dec of 2006, and for me i had a bf too. i made the first contact this past may to check how the wedding was, but he said it didnt happened they decided not to get married, hmm, and i told him i broke up with my bf too. well, i thought i have a chance, i am going to continue talking to him again, i have a mixed emotion towards him, i will talk to him for the reason that i want to know the person i loved for 2 years better, but i have no intention of getting back with him. coz there was a reason i broke up with him in the first place. then he asked me if i want to be his gf again i told him i dont know. coz i dont want to tell him i just want to know him more. now that im getting to know him through our emails and phone conversation, i was right to stick with the fact that i broke up with him before because there was a reason, and its the same reason now that why i dont wanna take him back. he's a big liar, he lied about so many things he told me before. im mad at him, and i know its not healthy to stick around with him, we are just friends now, we communicate but i try to keep my feelings to a platonic level now. thats all i can share with you guys for now, coz my friendship with him is still an ongoing process... till next time ciao :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): I know exactly how you feel and my ex broke up with me 6 months ago after 4 years. He's told me that he's seeing someone else and happy, this news broke my heart because I really wanted us to get back together. I have called him a few times (he's always been pleasant to me) and I even sent a letter. He has had no contact with me for 2 months and even though I would love to call him and say 'hi hows things?' I just feel awkward now. Some days it gets better and some days I feel downright depressed and tearful. The only thing I try to do is keep focused on the positive things in my life and trying to have fun with my friends.If these guys really wanted to be with us then they would be doing all the chasing and running after us. I think we have just got to accept that things are over even though at this present moment in time I couldn't even imagine being with anyone else, but I'm sure that things will get better in the future. I understand how you are feeling, but no matter how kind,caring and loving you are you cannot make him love you.We both have to find someone who wants us!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2007): Look, its been six months since you broke up with him. I guess you feel bad because the ending was bitter. I know he told you you could always talk to him if you needed, but, things change.
He has another girlfriend and has obviously moved on. He is developing that relationship. Her age makes no difference.
You need to accept that you are not going to get him back. Until you do, you will continue to be unhappy.
In fact, in the length of time its been over, how come you still haven't come to terms with its being ended?
Do some things for YOU; whatever you enjoy and makes you happy. Stop making your life miserable. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but "them's the facts."
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A
male
reader, daglish  +, writes (28 July 2007):
 Its Strange that you are still in love with your Ex but atleast its true. Always be careful how you handle matters to do with rocked relationships. Most people in the world have over the years lied to themselves that one can terminate a romantic relationship. NEVER! Intimate love is something whose formular God withheld from mankind with a purpose. What you are going thru is absolutely normal but how you finally get what you want will depend on how much more you use your brain than your heart. The one thing you should take from me as a fact if u cant find anything else important in my advice, is the fact that YOUR EX IS ALSO STILL In live with you. He is simply jst lying to himself that he can love somebody else as much as he 'loved' you. Ofcourse he's dead wrong. The jury is not yours to make coz u already have some work to do right now to get back your love train on its rails. Just dont give up on him but dont try to threaten him either. Not even this older gal he's going out with. The best way would be to tirelessly seek a meet with your 'sweetheart' and play guilty and plead with him to allow you back. Dont think becoz he still loves you that he will just let u in easily. But whenever there is alot at stake,one should always do whatever is possible setting no limits for one's patience. Remember that a man can never lose all the love for the lady he once intimately went with to bed.. Go get him tigress but be prepared for some pros and cones.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (28 July 2007):
 You do not mention what was teh source of the bitter break up...that might have more to do with that than anything.
Is it possible that you only want him back because someone else has him, and not because he is the one for you?
-Frank B Kermit
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (27 July 2007):
 He probably knows that & as hes with someone new now, doesnt want the contact. I wouldnt be surprised if she has something of an input too. If i was her i wouldnt want my boyfriend keeping in touch with an ex that obviously still wants him. We are all only human. But it depends if you have children of course. That changes the whole situation. If you 2 split, he's looking to his future & to be honest, quite rightly so, that will more than likely involve whoever he is with now rather than you.
Sorry if thats harsh but might well be true.
C xxxxxxxxx
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