A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my ex will not leave my house! im at my wits end with him.his girlfriend dumped him about a week ago,and right now he is basically homeless.he has tons of family members in the area that he could stay with.he came down a few nights ago and i didnt answer the phone becuz i was sleeping,so he slept on my porch all night. then i felt a little bad for him, i let him in and he hung out on my couch all day.then he stayed that night,and the night after i told him he had to leave.now today i get home from work,and my mom was here babystitting and she let him in.he didnt ask me or anything,he never does he just shows up and comes in.his daughter lives here so she probably felt she couldnt turn him away.so now im trying to get him to call family members to see if he can stay with them....and the only response i get is "i will",or "give me a minute".thats been for the last 4 hours!im getting fed up and i dont like to be rude,i know he doesnt have a home right know...but im not obligated to take him in,we dont even get along that well.its making me uncomfortable becuz he just comes over and takes over my house,and we get along mostly just for the sake of our daughter,but other than that i cant stand him. help! how can i get him out of here without losing it and yelling at him...he just doesnt listen! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (2 October 2008):
"If you aren't out of here by noon then I will call the police and get a restraining order so you can't see your child."
Then start making calls enquiring about how to get a restraining order in front of him. "Just in case."
Sometimes you have to be tough. Once he's found somewhere to stay then you can be more reasonable.
You should also tell your mother never to let people in your house while you aren't there.
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, destiny23 +, writes (2 October 2008):
 hiya!
i know how your feeling, my dad has just come home from england i paid for his flight as he had no money and was sleeping rough but now after being home 4wks he's starting to torture my mum by ringing her but my mum hasnt been answering his calls so he told me to tell her that he would call down, my mums in a new relationship she's been divorced from my dad for 9yrs so i just had to tell him NO i hated the thoughts of doing it but sometimes you just have to be straight or people will just walk all over you, like the way your ex is doing, dont feel that you have to let him stay for your daughters sake, if he wants to see his daughter he can call and take her out, if i was you i would ring some of his family members and just say to them is there any chance he can stay with them because thats what i had to do with my dads relatives because my mum was worried sick that he would've landed on her doorstep but he's staying with his sister. just be straight with your ex and just tell him look you cant stay here, i've made a life for myself and you have to do the same and if he says but my daughters here tell him if you want to see your daughter you can call and take her out whenever you want but you cant stay here.
by beating about the bush your only making yourself miserable and im sure when you put him out he wont be homeless one of his relatives will take him in because he has no intentions of ringing any of his relatives he thinks his feet are well under the table in your home.
Best wishes xx
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A
female
reader, michelleAKAmandi +, writes (2 October 2008):
 Birdy gave you great advice and I was going to say the same. You will more than likely have to call the cops. Warn him first that you are going to do so if he doesn't leave "that day". Maybe he will get the hint, probably not, but it's worth a try since I can tell you don't want things to get ugly. Just remember, this is your home and you owe him nothing and you definitely shouldn't take care of him. You sure have a lot of patients honey. I would have kicked him out already. Don't lead him to believe it is ok for him to be there in any way at all. He's not going to leave with you asking him nicely. As you said, he doesn't listen so you're going to have to MAKE him leave. Do yourself a favor and do so before things get worse.
Good luck sweetie...
Michelle
PS - What about this... Do you think you could call one of his family members and tell them you need him to go and to please come get him?
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (2 October 2008):
 He isn't listening because you aren't insisting. Kick him out. You aren't his Mother, and you do not owe him a place to stay. If he won't leave, then call the Police and have him removed. He knows that you aren't serious and that he can get away with this. Honestly, Hun, you have more than enough on your plate and NO ONE is going to judge you for putting your foot down. Good Luck.
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