A
female
age
30-35,
*onfussed?????
writes:I really need peoples opinions on this, so please help if you can.....i went out for 4 months last year with this guy lets call him A. I was head over heels in love with him, even though we didnt have the greatest relationship, anyway i lost my virginity to him...and a week after he told me he was really sorry but he was getting back together with his ex. I was so upset about this, and never spoke to or saw him again....so i dont think i was ever really over him even though i tried to convince myself i was.I got an email from him completly out of the blue being really lovely ect and saying he owe's me an apology and that he wants to meet up with me, i told him last yesterday i would ring him but when it came to it i couldnt bring myself to dial his number....all my old feelings are coming but and i dont know what to do...please help x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Stanley Cup  +, writes (25 July 2007):
He can give you an apology over the email. Don't waste your time or energy on him. If he is able to regularly maintain a caring relationship with you over the email for an extended period of time (3-4 months), then maybe he is being genuine and then you can meet with him in person. If he can't do this, then I say stay away. There are tons of other people out there that will treat you better and are more worthy of your attention.
A
female
reader, 88jane +, writes (24 July 2007):
 i think you are always destined to have some feelings for this guy-when you lose your virginity to somebody you feel very strongly for then you have shared a very scary and significant experience with them,you will never forget them! he may genuinely want to apologise for his apalling behaviour but i would be very sceptical about his intentions if i was you. he may just want to get with you because he thinks you will give him sex! he left you out of the blue last time and i wouldnt put it past him to do it again! if you want to see his intentions then like the othe poster said, be his friend first for a while and see if his intentions are genuine or whether he just wants you for one thing only! if you want to take it further with him then thats entirely up to you and you should go and have fun but you should be aware that he may repeat his behaviour from last time. and i have a feeling that you may always have this doubt in your mind if you did get with him again! im not sure whether i would be willing to take the risk on him if it was me. Maybe you should follow your gut instinct which was not to call him, however, it is up to you and you should do whatever you feel is right! just be wary of him! and if you are going to take it further, practice safe sex and use conraception!hope my advice helps hunni! xxxx
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (24 July 2007):
 You're having these emotions for a reason, don't ignore them. You listened to your gut and you didn't call him too. Good girl. I don't think you have enough information about him to decide wether he's wanting to use you {maybe again}. If you do go back, make it a non-sexual relationship first. Make him take you out, spend time with you. If you just want a sexual relationship, then just go have a good time, but keep in mind he may only be with you until his ex or another ex decides to come back again. He sounds like a bit of a risk to me as far as anything more than just dating. I would say thanks, but no thanks if you expect more. You can't control other people, only yourself. Decide what you want, and do it.
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