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*tallion
writes: Hi, me and my girlfriend split up 2 months ago and I couldn't leave her alone at all, which made her angry at me and hate me.Two weeks ago she told me she was pregnant with my child and was 3 months gone. This has made me happy and I really want her back. She said if I be nice I might one day get her back, but I can't seem to do it. I think it's because I'm so paranoid of who she will meet etc and whether she will end up seeing me as a friend in the end. I will do anything for her I swear, but the jealousy and my yearning for her back keeps pulling her away again. Every time she gets close I ask her to give it another go. What can I do? Please please please help. I can't take it anymore.
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 October 2007): I'm going through the same thing really, but I know how play hard to get. That's all, make it hard for you to talk to sometimes not all the time, or back to back, cause fooling the mind can be very easy, and even easier to give false assumptions. Just like you dont want 2 loose her she really doesn't want to loose you just be cool. guranteed just dont get to hard to find. This game is a very dangerous one. just be yourself with a new hint of cool, and alot of confidence.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2005): To be honest you sound as if you may need to think about your anger and jealousy here - you mention that a few times - is this why you split up in the first place ?It may be something thats happened to you or something thats happened within the relationship - but whatever the reason you need to put it behind you or its never going to workYou are going to be a father,a role model, a huge influence on how your child sees the world regardless of your relationship with the childs mother, and that is an important role in life, take pride in that. Prepare to be a good dad, help your ex partner and who knows she may get begin to see you as the person you want to be and she wants you to be.Believe me jealousy and anger don't work in a relationship - only you know how this controls you - what about some counselling for yourself first to find out why you feel this way? Maybe you already know? You are obviously a caring person and want whats best for your partner and child. Help them by helping yourself.Good Luck
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reader, I Dont Lie +, writes (13 June 2005):
 Gosh I cant believe Ive just posted something similar to yours, although my gf wasnt pregnant and we've only been apart for a week now. Despite her telling everyone its for good this time, I still want her back desperately and we still live in the same house as we're housmates. I really understand what you're gonig through at the moment but as much as I hate to say this, you have to give yourself a certain time to wait for this girl cause you cant put your life on hold just for her. Its just outrageous. I mean who the hell does she think she is? If you dont put a time limit, youll end up like me waiting for this other girl (long time ago) for nearly 2 years. Its sad I tell you. Life goes on with or without her. I think you should be strong after the time limit uve given ureself. Since you said uve been waiting for nearly 3 months now, its been quite a long time. But I would give myself another 1 month from the time you actually start being nice to her and stop bugging her. If she realises this and still doesnt wanna budge, you HAVE to move on without her. And besides, by moving on, you're actually playing a pshycology game on her as well. Youre actually telling her that shes the one losing out and that youve moved on and once she actually realised she doesnt have you on a leash like a dog, shell probably turn around and start to miss what she had. If that doesnt happen, well, uve moved on anyway. So the way I see it, its a win win situation. U just got to be strong.
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reader, irishcurlysue +, writes (13 June 2005):
You need to give your ex some space. She's just reached a crossroads in her life where she is pregnant is probably still trying to adjust to the idea and what it means for her and her life. I know it's frustrating, especially when you feel the way you do for her, but relationships are a two-way thing and cannot be forced. It is ultimately her decision as to whether you will get back together. She understands how you feel and now you must give her space and time to decide what she wants. Don't try to contact her and if you do meet her, allow her to initiate the conversation, especially with regards to your relationship. Noone likes to be pressured. It is up to her as to what will happen next. Things will become clear in their own time. Allow nature to take its course and accept that things will work out for the best in the end. It is understandable that you want to be with her, especially now that she's carrying your child, but you have got to hold back. Give her the time she needs and deserves but let her know that you will be there to support you if she needs you.
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