| A ,
anonymous
writes: Hi!I'm hoping someone can help me I am in a really strange situation.I've been in love with my ex-boyfriends best friend (for years!). We all get on really well together and even though I've been split from my ex for over 5 years we are still really close. In fact we have just come back from a year round the world trip, which I have to add we were seeing other people..I was hoping when I met up with his best friend again that I would be numb and all feelings gone (in that way), but the feeling is stronger than ever.The problem is I'm sure he likes me (the best mate) as all the signals are there and he flirts a lot, even though he's quite shy normally..I've asked him out a long time in the past but he's said no because he thought of myself and my ex as still as a couple. I'm scared to get rejected again, but it's driving me mad. The weird thing is that my ex knows I like him, the best mate has to still know because of the way I act around him and I really now just want to get closure - should I ask him out again three years down the line and risk double humiliation or just try and forget about him??Thanks for your time in reading this and I look forward to some advice
View related questions:
best friend, flirt, my ex, shy Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, pops +, writes (17 June 2005):
It depends on how you ask him. I once had a girl who I shared an apartment with, but was not dating, find me with friends playing pool. She took me aside after I introduced her to everyone, and whispered in my ear, " Lets go home and Fuck !" Now, that's an invitation. If he says no, you have every reason to ask him why not. Go for it. pops.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2005): what are you waiting for - a sign from god?If you have got the wrong end of the stick - so what.If you approach it subtly - all you will suffer is a red face for 10 seconds - and laugh it off as a joke, if he is your friend then nothing lost nothing gained.And I wouldnt rely on your ex to put the message across - you will have to just do it yourself.Life is too short to spend your time fretting - find out if its go or no - then move on. Good Luck.
...............................
A
reader, irishcurlysue +, writes (13 June 2005):
Hi! I was in the same situation as you a few years ago and my advice to you would be to go for it! You've had feelings for this guy for years and although you did ask him over a few years ago, things change in a few years and so do people. You said when you asked this guy out a few years ago he said no because he still thought of you and your ex as a couple. The important thing thing about this is that he didn't say he didn't like you in that way. I'm sure that now 3 years have passed he no longer sees you as just his friend's ex and if he does then at least you will know for once and for all. The signs seem to be there and you still feel strongly about him. If you don't admit how you feel to him you risk losing him anyway. Maybe he will find somone else. Do you really want to be thinking "if only..."?Take the chance. Ask yourself could you bear to see him with someone else and if he does turn you down, would you regret it?Life is for living and I would tell him how you feel. Tell him you still have feelings for him and then the ball's in his court. If he refuses you, then you'll be able to move on for once and for all and if he doesn't then you both can give it a go. I did it and though we didn't last, I wouldn't change a thing. Go for it girl! You deserve to be happy. Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2005): i think you should say something...3 years is a long time and as you say the signals are there. seems to be no issues about your ex, and make sure that he know this. maybe 3 years ago he didn't want to go on his mate's territory...
...............................
|
