A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I broke up with my ex legally and she too agreed but I have left my phone with her so that we could contact as normal friends but before some last month's it seems that this is going wrong as she still acts as my girlfriend. ..We broke up due to our family problems and I am in a happy new relationship but my ex always calls me always but I have put her in black list I reli do care about her emotions and but we are sure nothing is going to happen in future with us that's y it's better for us to depart nd her home is not that much away from mine...but she always calls me which led a very bad effect on my life as health wise i am getting poorer day by day...increased blood pressure because of stress...what can I do to make her realise that this is not happening and better is to depart but she is not ready to understand and always informs me through my friends etc that she would harm herself if I wont b relationship with her. .Please helpthanks in advance
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female
reader, cute angel  +, writes (11 May 2015):
 Well we cannot tell you if you can forget her or not it all depends on how much cared for this person and if your really ready to move on in life!
Sometimes we get so attached to a person we think we cannot have a life without them and there was no survival before that!but in time when you disconnect you learn to live,you learn to love and learn how to be happy!
The good memories stay with you but your going to make better memories that will last forever!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your advices I just want to know one thing that is it possible that I can fully forget her because it was my first relationship ever and I reli do care about her but the fact is true it's clear that our future together can't be bright?
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A
male
reader, Over 50 advice  +, writes (11 May 2015):
 Trying to remain in contact with her from the start is a mistake, and you can see that now. Every time you reply to her in any way it just gives her hope that you still care to get back together. Your going to have to stop having any contact with her, the threats of hurting herself is just a guilt tool to keep you. I would guess this also putting a strain on your new relationship and it's not fair to your new girlfriend. Block her calls, text, emails and avoid her friends they are just going to go back and tell her what you said or what you have been doing. Your wanting a new start and your going to have to leave her and other people that keep this flame burning alone.
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A
female
reader, cute angel +, writes (10 May 2015):
Hey,
First off giving her "phone" was a bad move..if you both amicably decided to part ways then why leave your phone behind!its not healthy..when the two of you have decided to move on it means "move on" not leave things behind to communicate by which you can still connect with each other!im not saying ex"s can't be friends but you can't reach that level right away,it's going to take time!you seem to have moved on already plus you give the reason for your breakup as your family so clearly you both have some unresolved issues!
Call your ex up have a chat with her like mature adults,take your phone back and avoid any kind of contact with her
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A
male
reader, lawncare  +, writes (10 May 2015):
 You've done a noble thing in trying to remain friends, and you have done the right thing in realising that she is not ready for the reality of friendship and attempting to put distance between you.Balancing the seriousness of threat when a former lover threatens self-harm or worse is normal. If you assume it is attention-seeking and something awful happens, you will feel guilty. But if you remain attached to this person and their threats are empty and designed to manipulate then you cannot move forward with anybody new.You are doing the right thing as you are. Continue to put distance between you and her. Try not to concern yourself with the day to day aspect of her life; you may feel like you owe it to her, but you do not. Your responsibility is to yourself and your current relationship.By all means, use the friends you have in common to check that her state is not worsening. However, if you do not feel love for her, you cannot go back. Let us say that returning to her makes her happy - it will only be temporary. You will be unhappy. And then eventually you will both be unhappy. And the cycle will return you to where you are now.Be satisfied that you have made a hard decision with care and respect, and move forward with your life. It will help everyone concerned.
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