A
female
age
36-40,
*uphrasia
writes:ok, i have written about this a number of times. but its just driving me crazy. we've been broken up for 5 months now. we are at the same university and stay at the same campus and go to the same church. i have tried forgetting him and moving on. i can say that it was totally working, i finally had everything under control. we were not comunicating whatsoever, i was avoiding running into him at all cost. things were fine at last. and he just decides to call me and ask me to meet up with him and i foolishly agreed. then he starts preaching to me on how he has changed and that we should try to make things work. a part of me wanted to believe him..and then the next day i get a text message from a girl who i know he started sleeping with immediately we brokeup, to make things worse she was using his number. the girl was asking me what i was up to by hanging out with my ex. i refused to talk to her. i confronted my ex, he said she just got his phone without him knowing. and by the way he totally denies sleeping with the girl. but its just too obvious, i can clearly see it on my own, he says he is not dating her yet (what the hell is that supposed to mean. he just asked me back like the night before). what is wrong with him. i was very angry that i yelled at him. i feel like he is doing it on purpose. i said some pretty bad things. i told him never to call me again and when we run into each other he shouldn't even bother to greet me...but after a week i thought i was too hash, so i went over to his place to appologise, since we at the same uni, i thought this whole hatred was not neccessary. i just wanted to be free so that i can start moving on again. we agreed to be friends and stop fighting. but as i was about to leave, he asked me for a hug, instead of just giving me hugging me he starts carressing me to the point were he (or maybe we) almost kissed, i pushed him off, and left.i am so confused don't know what to think. its been a week since and no word from him since. when i run into him he acts like nothing happened. i can't beleive i let him hurt me again. i feel like its all my fault. i just can't believe that some people can be so mean. oh and this all started when the girl he was sleeping with left campus, she will be out for like a month. i don't like having so much hate inside me..please help.
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female
reader, Rawrsie  +, writes (12 November 2011):
 Ughhh. This guy is losing his touch with women. That's why he needs some sort of reaction about women. He is, stringing you along. What works for me with having that kind of hate is to...well hate. Think about him. Think about how much he hurted you. Think about all the annoying features he had (impolite,bad teeth, no friends). It'll make you feel happy that you aren't with a sad loser like him anymore. Think high of yourself, and bring him down low in your mind. Your better than him girl :D!
A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (11 November 2011):
Hi - youre feeling confused which is understandable, but you are moving on alot already. you have to accept that there will always be feelings for this guy in your heart, good feelings that you should hold on to, but not act on.He sounds like your typical guy, trying to get his hooks into everything he can because he feels powerful doing so. Hes getting off on the fact that you still react to him. In my opinion, being nice to him is good for you - it makes you feel good about yourself so dont worry about that. just dont be caressed or kissed, that just makes it hard on you. He's playing a game with you - nothing more. Just play the game back, flirt be nice but unobtainable.
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A
female
reader, be11is +, writes (11 November 2011):
 Hey girl, hang in there!
Guys can be total jerks. It's like they manipulate girls just to get what they want. From what you said in your post, I think your a lot better off without him.
He seems like just another guy, nothing special about him whatsoever. You shouldn't waste your time on him when there's someone else out there.
In my opinion, you should do exactly what you were doing before - moving on, being yourself, doing what you want to do. That guy sounds like hes just trying to get in your pants to be completely honest with you. Forget him. Let that stupid girl come back so he could use her instead. Your too smart for that.
Hope I helped ya out a lil' bit! Hang in there hun.
- Be11is x
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