A
female
age
41-50,
*rummyscreenname
writes:I ran in to my ex boyfriend a couple of days ago. I completely ruined our relationship, and he's a good guy and nice enough to me in spite of the embarassing and stupid things I did when we were dating. I'm still in love with him and I miss him a lot. The first time we broke up (yep, one of those), I tried to be "friends" with him, like an idiot- long story short, of course we got back together for a little while and then the whole thing completely fell apart. After we broke up the final time, I cut him out completely- deleted him off my facebook, everything. Blah blah blah. Anyway, when I ran into him, he invited me to an event that he was hosting that I would have really enjoyed. I decided not to go because I didn't trust myself not to do something stupid and I didn't want to see him with his new partner or flirting with other people, whatever the case is.Now I'm second guessing myself and wondering if I should have gone. And now that he's invited me to something, should I add him to my facebook again? Try to be friends with him? Did I miss a great chance to get him back? Will he never talk to me again now? Am I just being stupid missing events that I would like because of him?
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female
reader, crummyscreenname +, writes (5 June 2011):
crummyscreenname is verified as being by the original poster of the questionto clarify, what i meant is that if he has another partner (who could be male or female, he's bi), then i wouldn't want to watch them canoodling. I don't actually know what his situation is.
A
female
reader, Fate100percent  +, writes (3 June 2011):
Are you assuming he has another partner? It's not clear from your post? I can understand your reasons for not going though!
You could add him as a back as a friend, and say sorry you couldn't make it because of (add something that sounds genuine here)! But you would like a catch-up in the future. But ONLY if you can handle the fact he might have a new partner and just be being friendly towards you. If you ONLY want a relationship with him,(and are still not ready to accept he might just want a friendship, then I think it is best that you didn't go and don't add him back to fb.
In a nutshell, only add him to fb again if you are prepared he may just want friendship-but you will only know that if you add him...sometimes it's better to just move on... :-/
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A
female
reader, Anastasia  +, writes (3 June 2011):
 Hi,First we need to appreciate that your ex boyfriend is a very mature guy. You have admitted to being less than mature in your relationship and have been silly ...so much so that it ended your relationship.He has now moved on and has another partner. He felt comfortable enough to invite you to an event that he was hosting...where his partner will be. I think it was great judgement on your part not to attend. You know yourself well and if you know that you would have embarrassed him or made stupid decisions while you were, then you are very mature to make the decision not to go. He is an EX boyfriend, he is not a friend either....if he was....you would have seen him by the way. So my advice is...no...don't add him back on facebook....cause that is a place to do stupid things and we don't want his partner to get any incorrect impressions about her boyfriend. Let us not be friends with him ....you are an ex and you need to respect his partner..we have no clue how she is...or what if anything he has told her about the girl he ran into. What are you talking about with getting him back? He has a girlfriend....You did not miss an event because of him...I doubt you would have known or gone to THE event if you had no clue he was hosting it or going to be there.Bottom line is..this man has moved on...mooooveeeedd on. You need to move on as well. If you bump into each other....great...hi...how are you...how are things...have a great day. Let him be...and respect yourself and the fact that he has a girlfriend.Best Wishes.
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