A
male
age
41-50,
*ersyeux
writes:My ex-girlfriend wants to get back together, which is great, we get along perfect except one thing... we have no sex life together. We dated for a couple years and it began to break down when it felt like it was going to be a long term commitment. We were off and on for some time after that, but have been apart for about 8 months now. We have both seen other people in between and experienced normal sex lives, but neither are satisfied in other relationships. She thinks the reason she can't sleep with me has to do with her commitment issues. She wants to seek therapy to try and make this work. I'm not sure I have the patience or the faith that our sex life will recover, and I'm not sure I want to abandon my current, fairly new, relationship on such a risk. Has anyone heard of someone losing their sex drive like this? Can it be helped?
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ex girlfriend, get back together, sex drive, sex life Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2007): Stay the hell away from your ex. she only wants you back because you are with someone right now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): sex is a very important part of a relationship i feel-if this isnt resolved someway it would lead to problems later on. maybe the therapy is a good idea-good luck
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A
female
reader, Helen Help! :)  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 Hey Huni
Im guessing you have never whatched the programme "Sex Inspectors" its brilliant and its two theripists gettin couples who are nearly spliting up over lack of sex in their relationship and they get them back on it by jus simply making there sex lives more fun trying out new things. So 1stly it is possible to get a sex drive up and running again so if thats the only reason you dont wanna b with you ex again then it can be fixd. My advice would be to try and watch that programme firstly but if thats not possible then heres a few things i suggest make a list of things youd like her to do to you in the bedroom and her to do same then cut them up into bits and fold them up and put both your suggestions and a bag, hat wateva pull one out each in turn thn play out what it ses you have to do. Having a bath togeather really gets things goin you wash her she washes you theres jus something about the water n soap on your partners skin feels so sexy. you could try licking food of eachothers bodys, massarges luk up new techniques on the internet you can find n e thing on here these days you can try kinky outfits handcuffs even whips and chains if you like, acting out fantasys theres hundreds of things me and my bf like best what is called selfish sex where jus one of you gets all the pleasure for a little wile and i tie him to bed with handcuffs and blindfold on n i have my way with him it gets us both really turnd on and then other days he does it to me its fabulous try it well hope ive helped some. good luck have fun :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): I think that a loss of sex drive is a natural occurance in any relationship, expecially when it turns into a long-term thing. I'm currently experiencing this and, although I can't offer a magic solution since I haven't found it myself yet, I do think that communication is the key. A lot of people find it hard to properly communicate their sexual needs, perhaps women in particular as we're socially educated not to be sexually open (that makes us tarts...) I have no idea whether a relationship with your ex will be more fulfilling than your new one, but if sex is the only thing that stops you from being together I think it's worth giving it a go. Therapy may help her and self-help/sex counselling books may help you both. All I can really say is that talking openly and honestly will make a massive difference to the relationship, however it proceeds. Best of luck to you both.
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A
male
reader, GAMEchief  +, writes (13 June 2007):
 If she had a normal sex life outside of a relationship with you, then it's not her "fear of commitment" holding her back from sleeping with you. If you're satisfied in your current relationship, then stick with it, since you seem to have a hard time being satisfied in relationships outside of the one with this ex of yours. However, if you don't see the current relationship as going anywhere, then give your ex one last shot and allow her t get the therapy. But, only *one* last shot. If she refuses to change, then she never will, and you'll need to move on.
So, in short, stay with your current relationship until it dies (or maybe it never will), give your ex a final shot if she's still up for it when and if your current relationship ends, and if your ex hasn't changed, move on permanently.
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