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*ild Thaing
writes:Do you believe in kindred spirits?For anyone who saw the Anne of Green Gables movies you will know what I mean by this term. For others, the closest but less accurate term is soul tribe.I ponder the kindred spirit concept quite often. If you do as well, I'd like to hear how it affects the way you view the relationships in your life. Reply to this Question
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reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (13 June 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the question Ah, very nice post Irish49. You and I agree about the rarity of meeting kindred spirits. I can count less than ten among the hundreds (perhaps thousands) of people that have come into my life. These few people are my support system. If I cannot rely on them, then I am truly alone in this world. Likewise they rely on me, and I would do all that I can to not disappoint them.
When I think I've met a kindred spirit, I react as if I've fallen in love - and this applies equally to guys and gals. Is that bizarre or what?
I've recently come to realize that in a kindred spirit relationship there is a power balance. That is, reciprocation does not have to be explicitly requested. It just happens.
Thanks for your post Irish49... I was hoping you would speak up!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): I have some comments about all this. And remember, this is just my 'opinion' so it matters not to me whether anyone agrees or disagrees--it just simply how I, myself, define the words: Kindred spirit...soul mate. Not the same thing, in my opinion. I think 'kindred spirits' are two living beings who are very much alike in 'all' ways. A 'kindred spirit' can be anyone. They do not have to be an intimate love partner, wife or husband. They can be a good friend, a sibling, a child, a parent, a cousin...anyone. Kindred spirits are people that have personality traits, that matches perfectly with your own personality. You think alike. You both share the same likes and dislikes, you both share a very similar personality that works great together. You mirror each other. When you meet a 'kindred spirit', you just know and feel it, immediately. It's almost like you’ve known that person, your entire life. You know that old expression: "there is a person exactly out there in the world just like you"? That is kindred spirit, to me. You both like the same things, share very similar feelings, share the same goofy sense of humor, you both love sky-diving, you both love a certain type of music... and so on and so on. The matching personalities are unexplainable. Kindred spirits are very, very hard to find and many of us don't ever find that, because for the most part...people are all soo individually different and we all cope with and manage relationships in different ways. Soul mates are found more easily than a kindred spirit. Soul mates are people who are exclusive intimate, love partners, as in marriage relationships and can be very different from each other in many ways, but each person respects that diversity about the other, they might even share different values but they blend their worldviews together and make it work. They develop and grow together. A soul mate is not known, until you are with them for awhile. You like them a lot but you grow and develop a close, close bond over time, that's very hard to break. Some people can mistake a 'soul mate' for a 'kindred spirit'. A soulmate is not someone who is like you at all. People make the mistake of searching for soul mates all the time by looking for someone who shares the same personality. I think the chances of that happening are very, very rare. If you ever did find someone like that...you have found your 'kindred spirit'. Hope this makes sense..just my take on it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Hi hun,
As you say the trust.. my friend and i trusted each other with everything and i new her faults she new mine and we didnt judge each other ever it was a pure i love you no matter what and id never let you down, We new how the other was feeling and used our own gifts to make the other smile her gift was the way she could make me laugh even in the bad times, And no matter what she would always protect me and my family as if it were hers, as i did with her, it was just so natural right from the first time we met, as it was with my partner trust and truth and lots of love it all came so naturally as if we had met and new each other already thats the only way i can explain it, It is such a lovely feeling and even after death which was hard even though i have my spiritual faith i no she is still looking after me so i have alot to be thankfull for.
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reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (13 June 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you mandy7 for your response!
For me the kindred spirit is a person with whom I share a relationship that is much deeper than friendship or acquaintance. Furthermore, a person I consider to be a kindred spirit has earned my trust and I in turn have earned that person's trust. The trust factor is a very important differentiator between kindred spirits and "just friends".
This leads to the broader question I wanted to ask: How do you know you have a kindred spirit relationship?
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reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (13 June 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you anon male for your response. Can the "dyadic contracts" you speak of include emotional attachments to those who are not considered kin in the strict sense?
What I think you are saying is that your notion of kindred spirit describes a connection that is superficial. Is my assessment correct?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Hi sweetheart,
Yes i do believe very much, as in soul mate, I was lucky to meet my soul sister we just new what each other was feeling and it used to bug the life out of her that i new she was up to no good, I can still hear her saying " What do you mean whats wrong?" Then straight after asking she would always laugh and say i cant hide anything from you. Anne of green gables now that makes me smile and takes me back, i just loved her. I have been very lucky in life to have met people that are soul mates my fiance is most definitively my soul mate its so comforting to no someone is so intune with you and your feelings. Thankyou for that question i was just thinking of my friend hayley (my soul sister) who passed a year ago this month you have put a big smile on my face you helped me!!! Hope i helped you love take care xxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): I do ponder the concept of kindred spirits and belive in them, but perhaps not in a way that will confirm your intuition. I'm an anthropologist, and the way social scientists in general conceive of 'kindred spirits' is via the concept of 'consciousness of kind,' i.e. the awareness of being similar to or sharing an identity with other human beings. Consciousness of kind does not work the same way in all societies. For example, American auto workers share a horizontal consciousness of kind, organizing into labor unions and cooperating (regardless of company affiliation) in a struggle against their management, whereas Japanese auto workers traditionally have a vertical consciousness of kind--identifying more with the president of their own company than with a fellow laborer in another company. And in small-scale societies, we find that "kinship is the axiom of amity," so your relatives are *literally* your kindred spirits, and you strongly feel that you and your kindred or lineage share an essential substance often transcending the corporeal. But modernity and industrialism generally cause kinship ties to weaken and a greater emphasis on dyadic contracts becomes the norm. So kindred spirits are real, but they're a modern product of emphasizing dyadic contracts among human beings with similar aesthetic responses to the environment. Enjoy.
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