A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've had a crush on this guy from school for about a year and a half, beginning last Spring semester. We talked from time to time then, nothing big. Over summer we emailed each other all the time, hung out a couple of times, again nothing too special. Then this past fall semester, we began hanging out a lot. We had a class together, so we studied together, did the assignments together, went to office hours together, you name it. We'd also hang out a lot when school wasn't involved. We'd go out to eat all the time too, which was nice. I live far away (about 20-30 minutes away) and he would drive me home from time to time, call me up to talk, invite me to hang out with him and his friends, that sort of thing. A few times I felt like maybe he was interested, but I was too shy and didn't want to mess things up. Then I made a move and asked him out on a date. Things went fine, but he definitely did not make a move to make me think otherwise. Time passed and slowly things started to fall apart after that. His schedule got a lot busier this past spring and we slowly stopped hanging out as much. Conversations started to get awkward. I got angry because I didn't understand why he was doing this. At the very least, we were good friends, so why all the drama? There have been flashes where things were kind of how they were last semester, but I'm afraid I judged him wrong. He has been known to be shy around girls and the last time I heard about a relationship (2 years ago!), he got cold feet, but confused the girl by somewhat leading her on. I feel like he was interested, but maybe things like his shyness or the fact that I'm about 5inches taller than him made him uncomfortable. I feel like I can't move on from him because we really clicked and meshed well. It seemed to me like we would have been a great couple. My questions are: was/is he interested in me? If not, how am I to move on? If so, what should be my next move? Thank you, and I apologize if any of this sounds confusing!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): I would consider three possibilities: (1) he likes you a *lot*, but he has a dreadful fear that you don't like him as much; (2) he's actually not that into you for some reason, although he likes hanging out with you or going on a friendly date; and/or (3) he's really fundamentally terrible at introspection, self-expression, and relating to another human being. If you're willing to take a chance on that last one, then making a strong move should determine which of the first or second possibilities is true.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): If you want him, take him, stop pussyfooting around. It should be easy to get in a situation where it is at least semi-appropriate to touch him, scratch his back, rub his shoulders, etc... Physical touch is a good ice breaker and should melt the shyness in both of you away pretty quick.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2007): Sounds like he liked you, but has very low self-esteem. Bad to get involved with because once you're together he'll start taking his self hatred out on you by becoming withdrawn and passive aggressive even though he likes you.
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A
male
reader, GAMEchief +, writes (13 June 2007):
 The shy types rarely make the first moves. You're going to have to make it - either asking him on a date or straight-up asking him how he feels. It's hard for any two members of the opposite sex to spend an excessive amount of time around each other without developing some sort of emotional feelings, so odds are that he does feel something towards you. If it turns out that he doesn't feel the way you feel toward him, then try making another friend like him. Someone taller than you with the same interests as well. Spend a lot of time with the new person. Pretty much, do what you did around this man, but with another man. The more you like the new person, the more you'll get over the old one. But this is only for moving on - be sure to pursue a relationship or get closure with the first man before moving on! As said, if he's shy, that's probably why he never made a move on you, and it sounds like he does like you.
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