A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I was with my ex for four years. He dumped me two months ago. I was mad and hated him the first month, but I started missing him like crazy recently. He never contacted me after the break up, never asked what I'm up to or how I am. I don't have the intention to get back with him, but I just can't get him out of my mind. Should I tell him I miss him? Please help!
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male
reader, DV1  +, writes (12 July 2013):
 Silence is golden.
A
male
reader, adaminio  +, writes (6 July 2013):
NO !! DON'T DO IT!! I went through that crap for nearly 2 years and you know why. Because I kept in contact with her and its killed me, you go through stages on a break up.. anger, grief ie missing them, denial. And some others ha but if you get in contact with him your just resetting the process.. the best way to see it even though its harsh.. he hasn't bothered because he is gettin on with his life.. be strong and get on with yours :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): Be strong, don't contact him. It's been just over a month for me and I struggle every day. At first I didn't know how I could cope or go on but I'm so happy to say I'm getting there, every day gets that little bit easier. What's for u won't go by u! chin up xxx
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A
male
reader, Doobie +, writes (6 July 2013):
This is funny, as I struggled with the same issue for a bit. (Person memtioned at the bottom is totally unrelated.)
A friend and I took things a bit far, and after a small spat, nothing was the same. I tried my best to restore our friendship, but she'd be distant and flake on every occasion, planned or not. Eventually, I said fuck this, deleted her number, and moved on.
Proof showed itself when she warned me of her presence at a friend's house and I ignored it, opting out of the get together (her boyfriend, whom she had broken up with before we started hanging out, mind you, was also present). The next day, she returned the favor by informing me that she'd be deleting my number. I still didn't respond.
I have feelings for her still, but it's just not worth the time, energy, or disappointment that would surely follow.
It's difficult, but you'll have to leave him where he is in every aspect. It definitely hurt me, but these things end for a reason.
Now, as a brokenhearted American guy, I offer myself as a text buddy to pour your heart out to.
I've got nothing going on, as my only known love has gone AWOL on me, possibly setting up more sadness in my future.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2013): Nah, don't tell him anything. Just be strong. All it's going to do if you contact him is stroke his ego and make him take you more for granted. And in the meantime you'll feel worse. You contacting him is not going to change anything, remember that.
You feel lonely now. And it is totally natural for you to miss him. It's common that it takes awhile for the person dumped to "realize" they miss the person who dumped them. But don't act on it, that feeling will pass.
Let him do the missing and the contacting. If he doesn't, oh well. You should feel proud of yourself for being as strong as you have been so far. And don't let this passing feeling be a setback to how far you've come.
You are not going to move on right away and some days may be tougher than others. That's part of breaking up. But no matter what, do not lose the strength and dignity you have within you. Do not call him. Don't forget, tomorrow is another day. Have the courage to keep going on without him. You can do it. And you'll look back and feel proud of yourself.
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A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (6 July 2013):
Honestly, don't message him and keep trying to move on with your life without him. I know it seems harsh right now but I am sure he has his reasons, and do not need to know them. Things wont be the same but hey, now you can date or seek interests on other people or just do whatever you want. It doesn't feel like that now but you have to try to get into a habit of thinking other things than your ex else the more you do, the more you will feel depressed in that line.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (6 July 2013):
There's no point in telling him you missed him.
You're probably having issues with the rejection aspect of the breakup, so you need to understand that, unless you clearly did something wrong, he didn't reject you, he just realized the two of you weren't compatible.
Now, whether or not he realized it at the time that's what was really happening.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2013): He doesn't care how you are. That's why he hasn't asked.
Once someone dumps you, you have to start working on getting over them. It starts with ending all contact.
After breaking up, the hardest thing is getting over their absence, after spending all our spare time with them for so long. The mind has this way of only remembering the good times; and not the stuff that lead up to the breakup. So you wallow in misery just pining to have him back.
The reality is. He isn't coming back. He doesn't want to hear from you. It is officially over. If he called you and doesn't want you back, it hurts even worse. Don't call or text to be ignored, or worse...to be told to leave him alone. That would tear you apart. Let go.
You're going through the phase of obsessing over him. Missing his voice. You see images of his face in your head, and you die to hear his voice. You wait for the phone to ring and see him on caller ID. You wake-up with him on your mind and go to bed thinking of him. I know. I broke-up with someone two months ago also. Been there and done that.
I've read everything I can get my hands on about surviving a breakup. I go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I hangout with my friends. I call my family twice or more a week. I have quiet time and play my favorite music, I work in my garden.
Time flies by, when you keep busy. He'll always linger in the back of your thoughts. He'll keep pushing his way back to the front of your mind; however, once you come to terms that it's over, as I have, you'll learn to push it out.
Let no one tell you that you'll completely get over him.
Someone you really love is always in your heart. They just end up in a different place.
Your heart has many compartments. It is designed to hold millions of times its capacity. That's why you never run out of room to love yourself and others.
Give yourself time. Let the tears flow. Don't forget to laugh. Hangout with your mother. Call an old friend you dissed while you gave all your time to the MIA ex-bf.
He will never let you know. He misses you too. He wonders what you're doing and he doesn't call; because he doesn't want you to know that. The best thing you can do, is prove to him that you can get along fine without him.
You don't see that now; but if you fight the temptation to contact him for another month, you'll start to realize that you can actually live without him. Each day will push him further and further from your thoughts.
Take care of you. Do what you miss and what you like. Take care of your body, eat good, and exercise. Take long walks. Go for a boat ride. The water is soothing and cleansing.
Canada is beautiful, take a walk in a public park or garden.
Take a bicycle tour through town.
Think back in a month or two, about what I've written to you.
You'll be okay. Me too.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (5 July 2013):
Do nothing, other than make NO contact at all, and continue to try and get over him no matter how hard you find it. Sadly, this man has made it more than clear that he's not interested. He's ended it, and ended contact. To go back to him, to try to contact him, it would just be embarrassing and hurtful for you.
Please accept it's over, and let him go.
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