A
female
age
41-50,
*ush2010
writes:I was in a long distance relationship with a guy who I fell head over heels in love with. He lived an hour and half train journey from where I live. This lasted a full year and I spent a lot of time visiting him , and he would also come to visit me . We were close ... On his last visit to me we spent a week together , passionate , close , and although he seemed a bit distant I didn't think for a second that I'd never see him again especially as he told me wanted to see me again. The day he left, I took him to the station, there were plenty of kisses and hugs and everything seemed fine.... I never saw him again after that, did not hear a word, no texts , no emails nothing... I called him several times , he didn't respond. I emailed him, no response. No explanations , not even a text to say he didn't wish to see me again. That was 4 months ago. The pain I have felt was unbearable and its taken me a long time to accept his behaviour and move on, especially as I thought we were friends above all and his cruelty, and lack of respect has destoyed me. After hearning nothing, he also blocked me from seeing any photos on facebook. And today, I see that he has changed his profile status from "single" to "in a relationship". I can't describe the hurt. He's moved onto a relationship, so he has probably been seeing his new girlfriend at least a couple months. I don't know how to cope with it, should I contact him to express his hurt or anger ? I am also just so incredibly jealous that it was so easy for him to find someone new , while I still spend most days missing him , and trying to recover.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 December 2010): Good for you for making a start at moving on. It will get better, you'll see. Best wishes.
A
female
reader, lush2010 +, writes (11 December 2010):
lush2010 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much for taking the time to write me these pieces of advice . I genuinely am touched and it made me feel better know that I am not the only person this has happened to.
Aunt Honesty, thanks for your very understanding advice .. And to everyone else too.
I have never contacted him again, I also deactivated my facebook account, I plan to stay away from it for a few months. The pain still consumes me everyday ... Quite often he appears in my dreams which is really upsetting . But I am doing my best to let go of it, although I am sure the scars will always be there ..
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A
female
reader, MsVick  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 Do not contact him at all, forget him. I went through something very similar only we were together 7 years before I found out he was addicted to cyber sex and online relationships. Some people cannot handle reality at all, so online is all they can do, as was the case with mine.
Good luck you deserve some one who will love you and want to be with you, not some clown who runs away like this one did.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): This struck a cord with me, i went through something similar. The pain when i saw photos of him with his new girlfriend nearly desroyed me and i know that pain, it's almost un-bearable.
What this guy did was just plain cruel and i understand how hurt you must be. What you have to do now is not be hurt or upset but ANGRY yes angry. It helped me a hell of a lot to be angry because it gives you strength you never knew you had.
Delete him from facebook, msn, you name it. Don't think about, just do it. Delete his number and email, everything. DO NOT give him the satifaction of contacting him. He's not sitting there upset, you are and that's not how it should be.
In time it will get better, it will take a while but you can do it. Also, don't be jealous of this other girl, just remember if he's capable of being this cruel think how he'll end up treating her. He'll probably do something just as heartless to her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2010): I had the same thing happen to me. He was married and So was I but I was really considering leaving my current husband for that coward.he left town and did not even tell me he was going to.I never slept with him thankfully. thisrelationship I had was sick it lasted 3 yrs absolutely no sex. That was why I thought he really loved me and was torned then he cowardly left town. Good riddance .I am sure it wont be long before his divorce is final.He deserves to be alone .So count yourself lucky. Be care ful out there. Dont fall in love with someone unless you really truly know who you are getting involved with. Best of luck to you my dear
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 November 2010):
 wow you are well rid of him, that is such a horrible thing to do to anyone, he is a coward and he didnt even care about hurting you.
im so sorry that you have had to go through this and am sure this new information ahs just set you back. You need to delete his facebook and his number and any other way you could contact him, i know that this is really hard and its a difficult step to take but you need to do it in order to forget about him, its obvious you were still checking up on him when you saw his status so delete him and dont go on to his facebook again, that is a major step and you can do it believe me, its better for you in the long run.
No dont contact him, this will only show him that you care and he doesnt deserve to no that. Get him out of your life completely its obvious he didnt care much about you when he could hurt you in this way without so much as telling you that he wanted to break up. Be glad that you had a lucky escape and it wasnt years down the line when he done it. Go out with friends and let them support you, go and meet new people and forget about him he is in your past now you can do so much better. Goodluck.
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