A
female
age
51-59,
*ove stinks!
writes:my exs and i broke up..we are still friends and he tells me that he misses me alot and thinks about us and we still have sex. but hes not sure if he wants to get back with me. what should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): Hes usinq you , hes only sayinq he miss you because he misses the SEX ! im qoinq throuqh this same problem as well . just drop him . its qonna hurt alot - but later on in the future its qonna be worth it :) i promise .
A
male
reader, generalist  +, writes (10 November 2009):
yes i agree to the first opinion that he is definitely using you only for sex....
and dear please understand and have some practical approach..
had he wanted to be with you,he would had been there with you quite early...
dont keep follish hopes in mind ..move on.....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): Hes using you.
Stop having sex with him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2009): Truth be told there's no thinking when you want to get back with someone, you know. It sounds to me like he's telling you these things to keep you around for sex. So my advice is drop him. Cut all ties with him and see if he contacts you for a date outside the bedroom, if he's willing to take you out and not insinuate having sex afterwards he might truly still want to rekindle something but if every encounter you guys have involves sex and him making no effort to blatanly state I want to date you again and have more than just a sexual relationship with you, then he's merely in it to get some.
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A
female
reader, PC85  +, writes (10 November 2009):
I completely agree with Illithid. He's getting everything he wants and the likelihood is that even if you do get back into a relationship this will happen again and again.
You should break contact with him and find someone who does respect you.
Good luck and i hope you find someone who will treat you right!
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (10 November 2009):
 There is the saying: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"
He still gets to be your friend. He still gets to hang out with you. He still gets to have sex with you. What benefit would he get from being your boyfriend that he doesn't already have? As far as he can see it, he get's all the attention and companionship and closeness and even sexual pleasure that he had as a couple, but this way you two can't break up again (since you're not together) and at the same time he's free to date (and sleep with) other girls.
You changed from his Girlfriend to his Friend With Benefits. There's now no reason to commit to you unless he just wants to for the heck of it, and it doesn't seem he does.
Either cut him off from sex and possibly cut ties with him altogether (since it doesn't seem he respects you as any more than a sex toy right now) or realize that all you two have anymore is a Casual Sex relationship.
It might help you to find someone else to date.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Hun, stop the sex... you are now a friend with benefits... I think that when he thinks about you its in the context of sex not as a partner....
You need to take control of the situation, no sex unless he makes up his mind... unless of course you have no problem being his friend with benefits???
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A
male
reader, duce00 +, writes (10 November 2009):
 Well if you feel less valued as a woman and you see no future then it might be time to stop being fuck buddies.
You cant really move on while you sitting on the fence.
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A
female
reader, Violet009  +, writes (10 November 2009):
 I was in this EXACT same situation not that long ago. My ex and I broke up, still friends then started having sex again. He said he still had feelings for me and maybe we should get back together...I was still in love with him. Long story short- after sleeping with him for about 6 months waiting for him to ask me back I realised he was just using me for sex.
He didnt know what he wanted, he was never going to ask me back. We broke up for a reason and I was just being his bitch for sex. 6 months was far too long to be in that position so I suggest you get out of it while you can especially if you still have feelings for your ex.
Move on the sooner you can it makes it way easier than holding on. Sex with the ex never turns out how you'd think.
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