A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My partner and I were together for six years. We have two kids together. We are splitting up but can't afford to move out right now so we are currently living in the same house. He is the one who broke up with me but whenever I leave the house (I like to go to the coffee shop and knit, yeah I'm boring) he accuses me of "trawling for (sex)" and then in the same breath says he doesn't care who I date "as long as they're not creepy". We have barely broken up! It's been two weeks--no way am I ready to date other people, but when I tell him that he says that I'm a slut. Why is he being such a jerk when he's the one who ended it with me?? I don't care if he wants to date other people, why is he accusing me of sleeping around if he doesn't love me anymore and why would he care anyway?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): (I'm the OP)
Just some notes: I *have* been crying a lot. But I am one of those "hide in a dark corner and cry" types...and it's not going to change anything, and how could he not know I have been crying all the time? I get all red & blotchy and look like hell.
Re the living situation: it will change soon. We are planning on still living on the same property and trying to be friends so our kids can have a relatively "normal" life. I think this will probably take some time and not be so easy as he thinks it will.
Thanks for answering, everyone :)
A
female
reader, Adorskable  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 He broke up with you, and as long as you are respecting your kids home by not bringing random strangers home it shouldn't matter to you what he thinks. I have to agree its the male ego and because your not crying your self to sleep he is now trying to make you look like the bad person in this story. I recommend you fix the living arrangement as soon as possible.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 "he accuses me of 'trawling for (sex)' and then in the same breath says he doesn't care who I date" "why is he accusing me of sleeping around if he doesn't love me anymore and why would he care anyway?" I'm only 1 man but I say he wouldn't do these things unless he still had feelings and/or loved you. I think he needs to talk to a therapist to get a handle on what's bothering him. Name calling and false accusations are never ok."I like to go to the coffee shop and knit, yeah I'm boring" Here's a little Wednesday morning 'knitting' trivia for you. Rosie Grier was an NFL legend and he did knitting/needlepoint. After his football career was over he went on to be a body guard and during the Robert F. Kennedy assassination he took control of the gun and subdued the shooter. I don't think knitting/needlepoint is boring. I wish you all the best!
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A
female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (23 February 2011):
 He broke up with you and you aren't pining for him? Or crying in a corner asking yourself, "why?". Male ego is a very fragile thing and instead of handling this like a mature adult, he has taken the road of calling you names because in his head since you aren't at home crying yourself through a box of kleenex every hour you have to be dating someone else.
Personally I wouldn't care what he thinks. You know you aren't a slut and you also know where you are going so he either needs to be confronted in a firm tone from you or just ignored. Men are weird and sometimes more complicated than we give them credit for, ignore him and go on with your day. He will eventually grow up. I hope.
Good luck to you. :_)
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