A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:not sure how to start this, i cant help chatting to men on gay websites when i am away at work for weeks at a time i have had 1 or 2 sexual encounters with the same sex in the past and want to try it again. i do have a girlfriend and i have been married which lasted for 13yrs. i want to sleep with men aswell but when it comes to meeting them for sex i chicken out and make my excuses. i,m i gay or?
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female
reader, kind_hearted_stranger +, writes (25 February 2011):
first things first...you have a girlfriend. You need to consider her feelings before you go off and explore your sexuality. Your obviously curious but as far as she is considered you are her boyfriend so the biggest issue here is your committment to her. If you want to explore your sexuality then you need to tell her, it wouldnt be fair to do it behind her back.
And in regards to whether you are gay or not all i have to say is...why label yourself?! You obviously have a curiosity about the same sex but that doesnt mean you have to start putting a label on it. If you want to explore the same sex then go for it....but tell your girlfriend first, show her some respect.
Kind_hearted_stranger
A
male
reader, AvgGuy1  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Being gay myself... I'd say you might be more on the BI side than anything. The only way that you're gonna be absolutely sure whether you're more gay or more straight (google The Kinsey Scale)... is by actually doing the deed. I know it's terrifying. I used to be scared to death to meet up with other guys. It gets less terrifying as time goes on and you meet more men. Just stop chickening out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): Possibly - you have experimented with same sex 'encounters' in the past and are clearly attracted to chatting to men. You could be bi-sexual? I'm not sure it is all that important to put a label on yourself but being loyal (or not) within a relationship is perhaps more of an issue to address. It is understandable that you are confused but I think you need to consider your girlfriend in all of this. While you are busy trying to work things out - she does not have your full commitment?
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